Re-reading, I appear to have lied. It seems to close on the last day of FEBRUARY. I mourn.
BUT YOU SHOULD STILL ENTER. PRETTY PRETTY BOOKS!
Nurse Nancy: “Have you had a bowel movement today?”
Me: “No comment.”
Nurse Nancy: “Do you still feel like hurting yourself?”
Me: “I never did. I’m really more of a self- pamperer.”
Dr. Nelson: “Do you have a medical history of obesity, asthma, seizures, cirrhosis, hepatitis, HIV, migraines, chronic pain, arthritis, or spinal problems?”
Me: “Are you serious?”
Dr. Nelson: “Do you have any family history of mental instability?”
Me: “Yes. My cousin thinks she’s twenty-one. My aunt thinks she’s eighteen. I’d call them both mentally unstable.”
Dr. Nelson: “Do you now, or have you ever, used or abused caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, amphetamines, or opiates?”
Me: “Oh, yeah. All of it. What else am I supposed to do in study hall? In fact, I better get my stash back from your rent-a-cop when I check out of here.”
(So he tells her she looks good, and then this happens.)
"You smell good too," said Patch.
"It's called a shower." I was staring straight ahead. When he didn't answer, I turned sideways. "Soap. Shampoo. Hot water."
"Naked. I know the drill."