Scene: Done and DONE.
I finished the scene that- as mentioned- I'm pretty sure I'm going to cut. Of course, now that I'm done with it, I start making exscuses for the poor thing. It's not THAT bad! It has good points! There are some good lines... Kinda...
No, no there aren't. There really are not good lines. But I'm going to share an excerpt with you anyhow, because I haven't done that for FAR too long! *chortles*
Adele blinked someone’s blood out of her eyes. The clash of metal had stopped? It appeared the battle was over. There were so many people! So many people she didn’t know, and a few she did. Brother Hugo had twin swords in his hands over there. The swords would require cleaning, it was obvious. The Herzog had a short sword and a shield. There were a lot of archers, aiming at her. Aiming through her, at Ritter Amedeous, who was using her as a shield. He was talking, in a high, panicky voice, which she ignored.
Perhaps she wasn’t entirely emotionless, despite the calmness that was making her eyesight so crystal clear. She was rather angry, still. Adele spotted a torch on the ground and snagged it with a foot. He was still talking, triumphantly. Adele didn’t care about his triumph. She pulled the torch closer. He was still talking. Bargaining. She let the torch flame play around the hem of her skirt. It caught, a thread of flame licking up her leg. It hurt, but that didn’t matter. “My skirt’s on fire.” She announced clearly, cutting through the bargaining.
So bad... However! I entered the contest here, where you post the first paragraph of your novel. I do not, in ANY way, expect to win anything, but it still made me feel better. ^_^ I saw some of the other entries go by, and I was in awe. It's like entering American Idol. You don't make it up in front of the judges, but at least you know can hear and identify when you sound like an asthmatic rat, and you feel better about your singing. (Fun fact: I was entry 669, and now it's up to 919 entries. Whew!)
I should go write more of my winning, sparkling prose. Tah!