Saturday, April 30, 2011

So what? I'm still a rock star! I got my rock moves...

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.”
— Ira Glass

So this is where I am in my writing, right now. Unfortunately. :P

I've gotten to the point now that I'm starting to be conscious of twists and motivations, and tropes I used before, and emotional reactions, and character voice, and it KILLS. It's not just that nothing I write is good, oh no. I've been spared that particular trial by a decade of oblivious reading and years of just-for-fun-never-read-it-twice writing. And in the interim there I feel like I've pretty well achieved some control over a small segment of story elements. I could write things in these bounds and- while not necessarily awesome- it would at least hang together.

BUT that's only a very small segment of story elements that I control. The hook that's caught me is suddenly being conscious of my comfort zone. So for the last month or so I've been blithely trying things outside of this safe selection of themes I keep writing about. And the stories have all BOMBED. (Let's be honest here.)

I don't really like writing things that bomb. It makes me feel pathetic. (Not an optimal state.) So in response to THAT, I was right on the verge of retreating back to my comfort-zone. Then I decided to think about that some more.

(The byline for my blog used to be "I spend too much time inside my own head." I think it's still maybe accurate, eh?)

But after deliberation, I decided that I want to expand my portfolio outside of where it is now. I want to be able to use all the cool things I see other people using in their stories. And I wish there was some magical way to just absorb the technique- but so far I haven't found anything easy. The only way is to write. And write enough that I've got these different ideas basically beaten into my muscle-memory, where I can pull them out without conscious "I think I should try a fantasy from second person present POV" deliberation.

All of which to say- the more I learn the more I learn that I have to learn.

Don't expect to see me published any time soon. :P

And in other news, the Royal Wedding just made me happy. ^_^ It's not often that I get to see an out-and-out fancy event where I can feel honestly happy for the couple, and not jealous or resentful. Celebrity weddings make me roll my eyes, but this one was just happy-making. :P

Also, this may or may not be the best picture ever, but I'm leaning towards a "yes."
Going bowling tomorrow! Have a good day, all. *waves at the internet*

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


I'm home for a whole week! I took the bus on Friday, (got up at 5:50 in order to stop by the metrobus lost and found and pick up by wallet (cause I lost my wallet on Thursday, did I mention this?)) and I've been back home for MULTIPLE DAYS. It's been lovely. :D


Okay, when you get the bright idea to pry the command key off your computer so you can clean underneath it, DON'T DO IT. Just saying.

*fights with the keyboard a bit more*

Anyhow, I'm back in Central! And this visit is lovely for several reasons, some of which I'd been expecting, and some of which I had not. I mean, I expected seeing my family again would be great. (What do you know? It is great. Shocking behaviour!) And I thought being able to eat someone else's cooking would be peachy keen. (I was right.)

I didn't expect sleeping in would be great, because I didn't expect to sleep in. Turns out that turning your alarm on doesn't do much good if you also turn your phone to silent at 11:30 so your twitter alarms won't disturb the small ones. None of my family was disturbed by my bright-and-early alarm, much less me...

And also I've had a fair amount of time both to think about and talk about life, my reaction to it, and why I'm doing things that I'm doing, (both conscious and unconscious). I'd thought I was going to be SUPER PRODUCTIVE, and I haven't been, really. I've been sleeping late and staring out windows for extended periods of time and staying up to all hours fighting chatting with people online. But my satisfaction with my life isn't measured in word count so much as in not being a jerkface. Or failing that, knowing how to proceed towards not being a jerkface. Oh, okay, and I just like talking about things. :D

So yes, that's been my life so far. On vacation, lazing around wrapped in many blankets, enjoying myself a lot.

I've also just done my taxes, which makes me feel very libertarian. 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Why I don't write every day.

Because sometimes instead of rushing home from work and staring at a white page, I need to take the long route on foot.

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Just the numbers, sir...