I'm kinda scared by being this close to the end. Every scene I have left is one that's been riding me for a minimum of eight months, and so they're all fearsome and awesome to write. I probably should have given up an hour ago and gone to sleep. I "look" like I'm already in a trance, I'm just not quite horizontal yet. Anyhow. I'm sure that was edifying. And I'm working on a thoughtful blog post. :P You know, one of those mythical ones that is written with intact language centers of brains? I thought I'd give it a shot.
Hehe, I amuse myself.
I need to shut up.
Oh, and I just realized that one of my side characters could actually be awesome, given the right circumstances, so I think I'll give her a good death scene.
This excerpt is part of some fun stuff I wrote with Kemendraugh, back when she had internet and when I couldn't kill anyone. She said I could have one of hers to kill. And then I ended up killing her favorite characters instead. *winces* Ouch, I'm a bad man.
Despite its lamentable word-count effects, I am resolute that donating blood is awesome. Just think about it. You go and sit in little plastic chairs and watch the various stages of nervousness around you, and you get to closely observe the different stages and types of fainting, for the mall fee of being prodded with needles and drained of your vital fluids. Plus you can save up to three lives. :D Which is a nice way to make up karmically for the day you spent torturing, drugging and seducing. *cough* Ahem. Plus, you are medically required to eat sugary things afterwards. Is there anything more awesome than that? I think not.
Oh, oh! And also, where else is it just assumed that you're a druggie (other than airport security,) and you have to show your needle-track-less arms to prove it?
I rest my case, awesomeness is proven.
Here, have some excerpt. Not from today, I don't trust any of it from today. :D
I went to a picnic today, which ate my time. Also, I'm tired. And Merc is distracting! And my siblings kept being FRIENDLY, curse them.
Okay, I admit it, I was distracted. But hey, I got SOMETHING written, hey? Even though Bahnree can tell without doubt that its on drugs. On many much drugs. Which is saddening because the drugs were all in my writing, I only had tea IRL. *is saddened* (*Says nothing about the torture which Bahnree had to enact before I would write more than a hundred words.*)
However, I do with a clear conscience lay some of the blame on the heads of the people I was writing today. *I* had nothing to do with it, I just had to spend most of my time extricating them from each other's rooms and putting them into some clothes. NOT my fault. *innocent* This is supposed to be YA, after all. *tries not to think too hard about that*
Anyway, today was hard, I am blameless, and here's an excerpt from a day when my writing was slightly more sober. Yes, those days do occur. :D
I was pretty sure this day was gonna be a fail. But interestingly enough, once I was tired enough I could look at a screen without twitching, I got some words done! Who would have guessed! But now my eyes hurt from being open, and I realized another scene I might have to write before I'm done. Or maybe I'll just allude to it...
I am so excited to be done. You have no idea.
Also, Jennet went out to look for children and came back with a gun. Sometimes that girl scares me. And Petria is GOOD at making people jealous, I can tell you that right now. Too bad Appel's good too, and he uses different methods. I heart those two. I need to shut up and sleep. Only now I'm scared of my dreams, due to certain bizzaro fiction I read today. *sigh* Think happy thoughts about happy things! Like the fights I get to write next! Yes, happy... ^_^
I thought, since there's, like, three whole* new people who are reading this blog, and they haven't read any of my so-called writing, that I'd jump on the excerpt bandwagon. Also, formatting this post buys me almost five whole minutes of procrastination time, and I'm out of tea to procrastinate by making. My logic is without peer.
*Perhaps not "whole" people, because they seem to be pretty much insane in the best of ways, which lends its self to being mildly shattered.
First of all, sorry. To anyone else on the internet. I get obnoxious when I'm procrastinating- I don't talk to people who might actually want to talk to me, and I pester innocent bystanders. *shifty eyes* Hopefully you don't know who you are, innocent bystanders, etc. *cough*
Character-who-I-had-forgotten-about-who-is-lovely: Carmanita. Hardworking, loyal as all get-out, and yeah. I hope you survive.
I'm starting to be concerned about who actually survives. Plot-wise, I only need two characters to make it through, and one who was not connected to the, um, thing. That's happening. HEY, that's what I'm writing tomorrow, I'd forgotten the point of that scenes. Ahem. Good, to know.
Hey, you know something I also found out today? Something that's vexing? To have your plot sink its fangs into your head during breakfast and start gnawing. To be at the point that your hands are twitching to write. And then to go to work for 7.5 hours. Not the best thing ever. But I got home eventually! And then, broken by a brief interlude when i realized it was my parent's 26th wedding anniversary, bought them chocolate, and then they returned it lovingly because they're on a diet- I wrote.
And I talked someone out of something, which probably only means I've never been REALLY depressed. But still! I can make it darker in the revision! Go Jole, go Carmanita, go sillies! I need to be awake in six hours, which should make tomorrow interesting.
OMG I love my story. Lies. I love that I have finally fallen off the cliff, and the ground is approaching with cheerful haste. And my characters make me happy. *hugs them all* *goes to repair her stab wounds* *yes, Howling is SO dead*
I know that made no sense. This is me we're talking about, what did you expect?
Scene count: 1 (Oh yes, it was a doozy. I walked down corridors and sat in waiting rooms. And Kael fought people to make a point. Love that girl.)
Quality count: Ahahahahah. Ahahahahahh. Ahhahahah! See that? That is me not caring. That is me laughing in your FACE.
It's weird, because for the first time in forever, I'm back on the ship, where it all began. I haven't been there since November. November, Srsly! That's, like, last year. Dude..... Also, a lot has happened since then.
(Hurrah for stream-of-consciousness! I'm gonna say that I didn't work today, or yesterday, and I was trying to front-load words in those non-working days because I'm working all day for the rest of the week. Yes, that is fear you see in my eyes.)
A lot has happened in terms of how I write, in what has happened in my life, and what has happened to my characters. Some of them still haven't realized what has happened- I'm looking at you, Jennet- and some of them, well. Clones, you know what I mean. And Kael is just her own category. Of everything. But yeah, I'm back in an old setting, with old issues that I haven't had to deal with, cause we haven't had to deal with.
Like the whole motivation for why Jole went on this little jaunt? The one he told himself, at least? Yeah, that one didn't come up. Kael and the rest of the Drudges' precarious position as worthy-to-be-alive? Also taken for granted by the silly Clones. Social issues in Jennet's world? She kinda danced on those, and now her dancing is frowned on.
In addition, everyone's been living with the knowledge that they're gonna die within days, and now, hey, oops, we're still alive. How about that. *sheepish* Not to mention that certain people aren't quite as comfortable to be home as they're supposed to be, in fact they're downright suspicious. You see, since the end of November I've only been dealing with straightforward Bad Guys. These are easy to react too. He's a sadistic, messed up B**tard- RUN. Now we have my old friends the Good Guys back. The morally ambiguous people with lots of power, who might have your best interests at heart, it's just that they say they do so sincerely.... Do I believe them? Do I do what I was told? Do I follow the nice man? Or- do I even have any other options? A lot more uncertainty, obviously.
As might be clear, (I'm not sure if is is clear,) I enjoyed myself. ^_^ I actually want to write more, only it's hard to think, my eyes won't stay open, and I have to get up at 6 tomorrow. Yes, Snazel, you don't have to write about wrecked medical bays now. *vague smile*
You maybe have noticed a slight note of celebration in that last sentence. This would be because it marks the end of a painful, agonizing story arc that I've been working on since April. 72,526 words to cover three hours of time, which brings the novel plot I complicated to make sure it'd last through Nano to 226,204 words.
That's right, two hundred and twenty six thousand, two hundred and four words. So far.
Clearly estimating word count is not my strong point. I'm not sure what it IS, but word count estimation does NOT make the short list. But in jolly news, we find that I have only to cover an outline-line a day to make my goal for GOOD. And the last two lines turned into nine scenes, with three new named characters and a plot twist.
Wordcount: 307 Scenes: Hey you, yeah you. You know where you can put your nosy questions? Yeah, that's right, in the blender. In the BLENDER.
My excuses for this day include: grocery shopping, making hamburgers, making potato salad, visiting with friends, making paper boats, spreading the ashes of a loved one, being trapped away from my computer, listening to hilarious conversation, supper, breakfast and lunch, family obligatory socialization, and exiling societal exiling expectations to be exiling social on exiling Saturday's exiling evening. Meh.
Word Count: 2,204 Scenes: 5 (Doesn't that make me sound like I actually accomplishes something? I promise you, it's all a lie.)
Um, brain is dead. I've been awake for the past 18 hours, which I don't, usually do? yeah. *blinking* Wow, I'm a disgrace to my demographic. But the plot moves! Kinda. *sigh* It moves better than the last time, kay? And tomorrow I can get everyone off station! Wow, I've been saying that a lot recently. I should stop that. *nods* *falls over*
Also, tomorrow I get to write reunions! Yay timez!
I wanted to invent new people to cure my scene for myself only about twenty times today. ANd I didn't I think that's awesome, if I do say so myself. No wait, that was a lie, Awesome is not a word I'm using to describe my writing. Ever. The holes in my plots have changed. Now you can't get trucks through them. Now its more like Tanks. Or Ferries. *headdesk*
This started as one scene, but I"m going to need at least two more to close it up. Darn it. *growls* But in other news, Jole was awesome, and Kael was, well, Kael. You should hope to never meet her at work, that's all I'm saying.
Also, Root Beer cures all ills, I should try to drink it BEFORE 10:00.
Oh, oh, oh, guess what I just did! Guess! Oh, you can't guess it? Sad. I'll tell you then. I finally, after eight and a half months of working on my novel, just wrote up an outline. Of that I have left to write. I had to take a picture to celebrate this monuments occasion.
Can you say- procrastination?
EDIT: You can click on the picture of a spoiler-reduced look at the outline, in case you go for that sort of thing. :D
Some days the words just attack you, and turns of phrase turn up in your doc.s without you consciously realizing that you wrote them. Days of wonderful, living (or dying) characters, complicated yet clear plots, and actual continuity. That is not this day.
Imma go watch some SGA now, k? I can has SGA plz? Kthnxbai.
WAHHHHHHH!!! *wails* I've never killed anyone before! *more abject weeping* Well, that was a lie. I mean, I've killed lots of side characters, and nameless guards who don't DESERVE names, and rather a lot of people in backstory. But never characters who I liked, and knew as friends! (Oh, hush, if you didn't know my sanity was tenuous before you started reading this blog, why are you even here?) I kept finding them outs, and leaving ways, if only, they could make it out. But, yeah. I am a cruel woman. Almost prolific, but cruel.
In other news, I invented some oblivious, cheerful archivists who don't know about the torture in other branches of their work, and I am REFUSING to be worried about their fate. The whole organization is going to undergo reorganization, okay? Okay.
Yep, today was a fail. All day off, and what did I do? Not what I planned, that's for sure. I swept the steps and straightened her hair for a friend.
Yes, I amaze even myself.
Also, you know you've been writing too much Science Fiction when, while driving, a friend falls over because she's not wearing her seat belt, and your reaction is to turn around and sternly order her to put on her restraints.
So we've got two scenes of INSANE stream-of-consciousness. Not really good. Especially since it was all written after brain death. So jolly. *falls over*
However, in my defense, I did watch a movie after work, and I still got this written. *pauses* That doesn't really sound like a defense. More explanation might be requiered. Ahem. See, when I'm writing, I wear earbuds. A side effect of living in a house of children/liking music. And when I'm writing, I'm not in the mood for conversation. Mysterious, I know. My sisters seem to find this mysterious, at any rate. And I generally, after a certain amount of time, either am A.) Rude- ("Why are you talking to me, and how did you get in my room? Leave. Now.") or B.) vaguely agreeable- ("Yeah. Yes. Sure. Okay. Ah-huh. Sure. Sorry, what was that?") On Tuesday, I think it was, I chose option B. And I agreed to watch the extended edition of the Lord Of The Rings. Oops?
Now, I love the Lord Of The Rings, and I am a fan of marathons. Big Fan. Just, not while trying to write stories. Not so much. So I triumphantly diverted the plan into watching Confessions Of A Shopaholic instead. (Good movie, btw. Fun chick-flick, and almost all Kendra-Friendly.) We watched, and then I was tired, and then I wrote, darn it. I finished these scenes, DARN IT. Ahem. Now my brain is hamstering. You know the thing when your mind feels like a hamster on a runaway wheel? Yep. I should stop typing and go break the wheel. *waves*
Tomorrow I, uh, set fires, shoot people, and so on. I think.
Pergite animo forti, Lacedaemonii, hodie apud inferos fortasse cenabimus!
[Don't ask about the latin, it just seemed appropriate.]
People Tortured: Well, one person for realz, and his girl friend is listening, which is kinda torture too, especially since she can't do anything since she's a prisoner. Oh, and the B****rds in charge of this joint know that he likes her. So that's good.
Plot Progression: I know that the people who seem to have everything in control are infighting, which means that I can actually write- maybe- a scene that's been worrying me. Um, aside from that, more people deserve to die? I don't like my bad guys. :P Which is just possibly a good thing.
Notes: Bad headache. Seriously, bad. I had to sleep for an hour before I could see straight. And I only wrote this scene by being really stubborn and saying "he's got it worse than me!" Torture is so useful, some times. :P But I think this scene was better/more believable than the last torture one I wrote.
Notes 2: I'm having pronoun problems. "My" keeps coming out as "him," or "I" as "the." My mind works in strange and mysterious ways to edit.
Gonna go curl up and put a weight on him head now, kthnxbai.
I blame Merc. She wrote this post. And it sounded like such a good idea.
So now Varesh Elm, Bahnree's wonderful character who is in a FIGHTING TOURNAMENT, is on the line. *cries* I like Varesh, I really do, and he keeps moving in such tight spots, and yeah. I've been nervous for him for AGES. So now if he dies, it's all on my conscience. HOW did I think this was a good idea?
On the other hand, if I swing this, Bahnree can't kill him, right? Right?
That doesn't stop her from threatening to torture him if I don't write enough daily, which I'm sure she'd enjoy, she's so good at torture. *more crying from Snazel* This just isn't good, for Varesh. I'm sorry, man. You're gonna end up in painful pieces, and then dead.
NO! I will not allow it! He will at least have a good minimum-of-torture life before his untimely demise! *firm*
Characters in more trouble than before: Everybody.
Characters rescued: Didn't I say that everybody was in more trouble now?
Most Hated: Cole- Arrogant Bastard. Die now, plz.
Most Admired: Jaslyn- You are HARD CORE. I have no idea what you're doing, but still. HARDCORE.
Most Loved: Sorry, no love today. Try me again later.
Most worrying: Law- I really hope you, just keep it together! Keep it together! You can do it! Be strong! Oh, please don't cry, I'l give you a proper hug later, really I will do, just, stop crying. Please. Pretty Please?