Matched, Ally Condie

Cassia's world is perfect. Everyone is assigned a job which suits their skills and interests, health care, entertainment, recreation and food are provided by The Society, and they live long, healthy lives. If they decide they want to be married, they are paired with their perfect match, selected from the many thousands of possible people looking for a relationship, and they live happily ever after together.

Just look at Cassia's parents! Her mother was from the country, and her father was from the city- they never would have met without The Society introducing them to each other. And now, here they are, entirely happy together.

The story starts with Cassia on her way to attend her Match Banquet. To everyone's surprise and joy, she is matched with someone in her own city, (no moving necessary!) Her best friend Xander will be who she makes her life with, which they are both delighted about. *^_^* (smily face of delight and shyness)

They already know each other so well there's hardly a need for the data slip with the information about Xander, but since it's protocol, they both take it, grinning, and then go home to their lives. Everything has worked out even better than they could have hoped for. It's perfect!

Only, when Cassia goes to look at what The Society has to tell her about Xander, (heh heh heh,) another face flashes on the screen. And again, this is a boy that she knows. Ky, also one of her friends, who also lives on her street, who she also went to school with. She's reassured that it was just a glitch in the system, which is great, but wait. There are glitches in the system?

The seed has been sown, and Cassia has started to question. She begins to question harder, with more anger, when her grandfather comes to the end of his long and productive life, and dies on his 80th birthday. (Everyone dies on their 80th Birthday.)

Okay, I want to tell you more about this story, but I'm going to stop now, because you deserve to see it unfold with all the well measured care that the author wrote it. I was very impressed with this story, the more so because the only full length review I had read of it said it was internally incoherent and spent too much time explaining the world building. Which I disagree with. ^_^

I thought the voice of the book, as narrated by Cassia, captured her emotional arc wonderfully. At first she's parroting what she's been told, ("Everything is perfect!") and then she's repeating it desperately, ("This is all good, right?") and then she's mocking it, ("Oh, yes, you have our best interests at heart, of COURSE!") and then she's just at sea as to what she does next. What do you do to escape in a world where they track your dreams every fourth night? I was particularly impressed because usually I do not notice things like voices of narrators. I'm all GET ME TO THE EXPLOSIONS. GRRR, WHY ARE THINGS NOT ON FIRE?

*cough*

Instead, this time I was able to very happily follow along with the more delicately agonizing realizations Cassia is coming to, and what that means to her. And while I'm talking about the voice, I have to mention that there were three times in the book where I just stopped, amazed at how poetically Ms. Condie managed to phrase the moments of wrenching revelation. And using simple words, too! I mean, the reading level for the book can't be that high, in terms of vocabulary. It's "narrated" by someone who lives in a world where art has been simplified down to 100 of everything. And working with simple words, I was still stopped in my reading tracks several times.

Any time a book effects me that much, I am impressed.

And also there were trains and a secret war and sorting things and a strong family which you give up things for. All stories that delight me. You should read this book.

I gave it four stars out of five. I'll be looking for the sequel. Can I have it now, please?

How To Train Your Dragon, Cressidia Cowell

I'm gonna steal the description from Goodreads, because it's said better than all the ones I was working on.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was a truly extraordinary Viking Hero. Warrior chieftain, awesome sword-fighter and amateur naturalist, he was known throughout Vikingdom as 'The Dragon Whisperer', on account of his amazing power over these terrifying beasts.

But it wasn't always like that. In fact, in the beginning, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was the most put upon Viking you'd ever seen. Not loud enough to make himself heard at dinner with his father, Stoick the Vast, not hard enough to beat his chief rival, Snotlout, at Bashyball, the number one school sport, and Certainly not stupid enough to go into a cave full of dragons to find a pet...

You see the sticker over there that says to read the book before you watch the movie? Yeah. It's a good idea. Because if you expect the same story on either hand, you will NOT get it. For one thing, this book has no girls. (Contra to the movie, where the main characters are Toothless, Astrid, Hiccup and Stoick.) For another, Hiccup's relationship with his schoolmates is severely different. Also, the dragon-Viking dynamic is almost entirely opposite to the movie. That's not to say either one is bad, they're just really not at all the same story.

Okay, now that that's out of the way. :D In the book, dragons are working animals, and training one is an integral part of a young Viking Hero's education. Only Hiccup is USELESS at training dragons. He tries to TALK to his dragon instead of shouting at it, (mainly because he can't yell loud enough to do any good,) his dragon is the size of a teacup anyways, and said dragon has a bad attitude problem. If he can't turn things around, he's gonna end up banished. Hmmm, I said I was going to steal the GoodReads description, and then I wrote my own. Well done, me. ANYHOW.

I did like this book quite a lot. And I especially liked the things in that I was not expecting. You see, I saw that this was an adventure book and that the MC was a bit of a nerd, and I said to myself "oh right, he's going to be hated by everyone." But no! He has a friend. Or a partner in being hated, but they have each other's backs. And I thought that his dad was going to be a lolstupid oaf who NEVER UNDERSTANDS HIS KIDS. And while he didn't understand, that wasn't because he was stupid or uncaring, which is a a pre-conception I had about this sort of "prove yourself" book. Instead, it was because he was so well-meaning that things went pear-shaped.

Oh, also I CHORTLED over "This isn't a democracy! What do you think this is, the Republic of ROME? We're Vikings!"

And I gave it four stars out of five. A lot of fun. :D

Unnatural Death, Dorothy L. Sayers

"Ohmigod. Damn. Double rainbow. So intense."

I presume you've seen the video. You know, the guy who's crying over the rainbow? That is just about the emotional reaction I had to this book. It's so beautiful... What does it mean?

Ahem.

I used to read mysteries with obsessive, almost irrational hunger. Then I moved into reading Fantasy and writing SF, but that's another story. What I am talking about is Mysteries.

I've read a lot of them.

Until the read-a-thon, I had never read a Lord Peter Whimsey mystery.

This is a criminaloversight. Which I will fix as soon as possible. (Hint: Christmas is coming. The goose getting fat. Please to put a book in the ageless woman's hat.)

So yes, the book.

It is the third in the series, but I read it with minimal confusion as to who was who. You just dive right into post-war London and environs. Where Lord Peter, who quotes EVERYTHING, is wandering around looking useless and being a genius, his butler is being AWESOME, (seriously, I think the man only had one scene, but I had to do my delighted dance and read it aloud,) the police are being SRYS BYSNS, and the spinster writer who he employs to spy for him, whose name I have forgotten because I thought of her as Maureen Johnson, is off being Catholic and hardcore. (Seriously, it was like a Maureen Johnson cameo. Only written 80 years before mj became the darling of Twitter. TIME TRAVEL?) And there were Lawyers, being delighted and fascinated by words in laws. I like words, so this pleased me. Also, there are a lot of LADIES doing THINGS in this book. Being one myself, I approve of them becoming more than Damsels in Distress or Moral Compasses in stories. And here they were, being Evil, and Stupid, and Clever, and Moral, and Rebellious, and Good, and all sorts of lovely things. (Hint: Christmas is coming.)

The actual murder was delightfully clever, to start. You see, they weren't actually sure that it WAS a murder until the end of the book. It was only a terribly convenient death, with some suspicious circumstances. But when they started investigating, other people started dying mysteriously too. By the end of the book, the murderer was getting quite sloppy. But we still weren't sure HOW people were dying until the end.

So yes. I want marry Lord Peter. I gave it four stars out of five. No big deal.

CLICK, CLACK, MOO: Cows That Type. Story by Doreen Cronin, pictures by Betsey Lewis

Farmer Brown never thought much of of the old typewriter in the barn, until the day the cows found it.

Now there's a strike going on, demands are being made on both sides, and the ducks are serving as neutral arbitration.

The farmer hasn't had milk or eggs in days.

WHERE WILL IT END?

Okay, so this cautionary tale about the perils of education* was quietly hilarious. I mean, I expected it to be funny, it's that type, (you can tell by the illustrations,) I just didn't expect it to be quite THAT funny. I laughed out loud when I got to the end, and I'll CERTAINLY be buying it.

I gave it four stars out of five.

---

*Not really. I just wanted to say that. :D

The Princess Bride, William Goldman

"What's it about? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles."

I am tempted to leave my description of the plot there, as whoever wrote the jacket copy of this edition was really good at his/her job.  :D Plus, most people have seen the movie already, so they know what happens! Yeah, I'll leave the plot description there.

I'd seen the movie before I read the book, and I was rather surprised on reading the book to get the narrator's long ruminations on how love was basically impossible. One of the big points in the book is that Buttercup and Westley are in love, true love, which is something almost as rare as Buttercup's beauty.

This annoyed me.

I have witnessed many long marriages that are happy, loving, and even cringe-ingly passionate. (Okay, if it was your parents, you wouldn't want to know either. That's all I'm saying.) The whole clever OH AREN"T WE SO CYNICAL thing vexed me mightily.

BUT, the overall story still amuses me. :D I like the old-school adventure, and I really really like the fact that we go more into depth with Miracle Max, Fezzik and Inigo Montoya, as they were my favourite characters in the movie.

It was certainly very engrossing, I was just vexed and stressed out by certain aspects of the story. And I gave it four stars out of five.

P.S. The torture scenes creeped me the ross out. GAH.

Devilish, Maureen Johnson

Jane is brilliant, sarcastic, loyal, and failing school because she can't really be bothered to care about her standing. Why engage in class when it's all politics and drama, and you can do the advanced school work in your 15 minutes before the bus arrives? She does care for the sake of her friend Ally, though, and if Ally wants to participate in traditions like Big Little day, where Freshmen (Littles) choose Senior mentors (Bigs), she'll be damned if she's gonna see Ally go without a Little.

She's been best friends with Ally since forever. Which means she's in a prime position to notice when her BFF, (after a really tragic public vomiting incident,) starts acting- differently. To the point of sudden knowledge of Latin, entire wardrobe and style change, and new personality to go with the hair.

Jane's never really been one to take No for an answer, or acknowledge subtle hinting to back off, so it doesn't take many self-igniting text books and freak hail storms before she's figured out that Ally's actually sold her soul to the devil, via a new girl at school. And now this middleman for Hell is willing to strike a deal with Jane for Ally's freedom, just sign here please...

Maureen Johnson is a hilarious writer, and I really think this is the most fun I've had with any of her books I loled irl at least once a chapter, and was grinning like a maniac at the page for the rest of the time. Maybe I find demon possession hilarious. DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY?

But I both found it hilarious, and my religious sensibilities weren't (really) freaked out by the treatment of demons. There was no falling in love with fallen angels, for example. I always find that one a little bit hard to buy into, given the whole trust component in falling in love. Instead this time, the love interest was SO CUTE I just want to RUFFLE HIS HAIR and grin at him. *cough*

So yes, I loved the characters, including her whole family and the teachers, I loved the dialogue, the plot was satisfying, and I generally enjoyed it. I gave it four stars out of five.

Restoring Harmony, Joelle Anthony

Molly McClure is a 16 year old farm girl, on her way to the big city for the first time. The local doctor diagnosed her mother's pregnancy as high-risk just before he died in an accident, but now Mrs. McClure isn't going to listen to ANYONE except a(nother) doctor about taking it easy. She's too busy fretting about her Father, left alone in the city since his wife has just died. Without Molly's grandmother to take care of him, he'll soon be wearing clothes with no buttons, and starving to death when he runs out of food that doesn't need to be prepared. He also happens to be a doctor.

Mr. McClure looks at his wife, in need of a doctor and fretting about her father the doctor, and then he looks at resourceful, stubborn, hardworking, never-say-die Molly.

So Molly is on the way to the big city for the first time, to fetch her grandfather and bring him back to their island. As soon as she leaves home she finds out that the trip isn't going to be as smooth as everyone had thought- and once she finally arrives at her destination she finds out that getting there was the easy part. Soon she's up to her eyebrows in making money, summer canning, the hazards of busking in areas with organized crime, a cute boy who might just be involved in that organized crime, orphan children, and transportation in a time when the train lines aren't exactly reliable, and it might be faster to go by foot. Also, stubbornness seems to run in the family.

Oh, and it's set in 2041. ^_________^

I loved this book. I loved the futuristic setting, I loved that the heroine was Canadian, I loved the organized crime element, I loved the romance, and I loved the political climate. Yes, the politics. Usually in SF books everything dissolves into anarchy after the Great Crash, but this one kept things in a recognizable setting- just twisted. I delighted in that. :D Oh, and the romance! I believed in this one! I could rant about it all, but I won't. It's just sweet, and redemptive, and lovely. *happy*

Okay, this is rapidly sliding into true incoherence, but I just had to mention one more thing that I liked. You know how when people are from the country in books, usually it's a bad thing? They have to "get over it," and learn to function in "real life." Not in this book. Molly is a farm girl, thank you very much, and she can handle herself. Better than YOU can, probable. :)

AND THE MISSIONARY IS WIN OF ALL WIN. That's all I'm gonna say there, cause you just have to meet, and see for yourself, the wonder and joy of those scenes.

I gave it four stars out of five. I will recommend it to any of my siblings who are able to handle a guy getting beaten.

Astonishing X-Men Vol. 2: Dangerous, Joss Whedon and John Cassaday

CONTINUING THE SAGA OF EXCELLENT BOOKS THAT ARE EXCELLENT.

ALSO IT IS LATE AND I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO THINK OUTSIDE OF CAPSLOCK.

SO I AM GOING TO SHOUT THIS REVIEW AT YOU.

WHEDON, IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT DANGER DIDN'T HAVE ONE OF THE BEST RUNS OF ALL TIME. SHE WAS LOVELY IN THE FIRST FIGHT WE MET HER, AND THEN SHE WAS ALL "OH, I'M GOING TO GET A GIANT INSENT ROBOT TO KILL YOU FOR ME" AND IT WAS LESS COOL. ALSO, THE PROFESSOR WAS NOT AWE-INSPIRING, EVEN AS HE WAS KICK-ASS. I DID NOT APPROVE OF THAT.

UMMMMMMMMMMM, I LIKED IT IN GENERAL? I THINK THIS WAS THE LEAST MEMORABLE VOLUME. THERE WAS TOO MUCH ANGST. WHICH SOUNDS FUNNY, WHEN I SHOUT IT AT YOU.

LOLZ.

*DRINKS TEA*

I GAVE IT FOUR STARS OUT OF FIVE, BECAUSE IT STILL FILLED ME WITH DELIGHT, I JUST CAN'T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHY A MONTH AND A HALF LATER. SORRY, WHEDON/CASSADAY.

Astonishing X-Men Vol. 1: Gifted, Joss Whedon and John Cassaday

So a little while ago I got to talking about comics on the internet to my friends, as one does. I mentioned that I hadn't actually read any.

Cue horror and staring from all corners of the internet.

But you see, I live in a small town, and I am not from a practicing nerd family, and my library believes in vampire books and contemporary romances. I had an excuse! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY FORGIVE ME WORLD!

Time passed, as it has a habit of doing. I went to visit some friends! And then, out of the blue, when I was at a shakespeare rehearsal, they presented me with a lovely sign, and the Whedon/Cassaday arc of Astonishing X-Men! I no longer had an excuse. I must bite the bullet and read comics.

And so I did.

And I was DELIGHTED. ^_^ They almost made the trip home enjoyable! Um, the plot. There are aliens, and a cure for mutation, and people coming back from the dead. But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the plot is not the MAIN reason people (like me- specifically me,) like comics. We (that is to say I) like it for the characters, and the dialogue, and something I didn't even realize until reading this, which is the art. The art is SO AMAZING. I didn't know you could do that, before!

I'm just gonna skip through my incoherent talking about art, because no one needs to see that. Or read it. Because it is incoherent. (Unlike this explanation, which is SO LOGICAL I could use it as a philosophy thesis.) I'm just gonna mention some parts in this volume which I REALLY liked. :D

Anything with Emma Frost. Or Kitty Pryce. Oh, and any time Hank McCoy and Wolverine are talking. Oh, and I loved Cyclops whenever he was around too. ^_^ So that leaves out- Ord, and the researcher, and the nightmare girl- oh, and I loved Brand and Nick Fury too! The rest of it was just lovely, not DELIGHTFUL.

And yeah, I gave it four stars out of five.

Looking for Alaska, John Green

Oh my gosh, this book pissed me off so much. I had to stop right when I got to "after," and I wandered around wal-mart like a maniac thing, idly poking myself with sharp things to see if I bled and staring at bread like I'd never seen it in bags before.

Now I give it four stars out of five, because it's masterfully done. But when I see it I still want to break things and scream.

Oh. My. Gosh. So much anger. GAHHHHHHH.

Pudge goes to boarding school. There he meets a motley group of people, and a circle of immensely important ones. Most importantly within the circle is the Colonel, his roommate, and Alaska, from down the hall. They teach him how to smoke, and swear in rhyme, and pull pranks, and other things of dubious moral integrity, that undoubtedly have long philosophical and ethical shadows in his life.  I read this book in conjunction with a friend, and we're not totally on board with the teen sex. I think the work used to describe it was "unnecessary." Also "gratuitous."

Pudge becomes part of a very tight, very intimate clan of friends. And then something happens. Screaming is probably the right response.

I still can't believe that this was John Green's first book. It's insanely good.  It's just- really, really well done. I'm not sure that you should read it, but if you like being emotionally abused by books, this one is REALLY GOOD at it.

Suite Scarlett, Maureen Johnson

Oh, Maureen Johnson. You are so entertaining on twitter. And you write books which break my heart. (I have a heart of diamond when reading fantasy or SF. When it comes to Contemporary, it's more like sugar brittle. You look at me, and I shatter. But still! ^_^)

Scarlett's family owns a hotel in New York City, which does NOT mean they're rich. Think more "oh, by the way, we're going to have to use all the children as unpaid labour. Enjoy the summer!" School's out, and Scarlett is stuck manning the front desk and acting as maid service.

Things could probably be going better.

Then her brother Spencer gets a part in a production of Hamlet, which brings several new people into her life. (Including a startlingly attractive southern boy.) Together with the addition of a new guest who hires Scarlett as a her personal assistant (and calls her O'Hara,) the summer has gone from zero to about an eleven in the space of an afternoon.

And then things KEEP happening.

Okay, I really enjoyed this book. :D I shared it with my sisters, and they also really enjoyed it. :D We all agree that Eric (Startlingly Attractive Souther Boy) is lose, and Spencer is the one we want. And because Scarlett is RELATED to him, there's no danger of a romance there, so we can stalk him all we want! SKINNY SNARKY ACTOR BOYS WITH STRONG FAMILY RELATIONS AND LITTLE MORALS FOR THE FREAKING WIN. (SSABWSFRALMRFTFW.)  *cough*

I loved how realized everything was. There were no half characters. Everyone had depth, made mistakes, and had triumphs. (Except for Eric. He was all lose. Pure lose.) It dealt with cancer- but NOT in the way you think. It dealt with friendship, and revenge, and family, and finances, and what love looks like from the outside.

Oh man, Lola and Chip. I heart them so hard. And they make me so SAD! I sniffled! The path of true love never did run smooth... And you know? Eric? You see how SMOOTH everything was going with you and Scarlett? TAKE THAT AS A SIGN AND GO BACK TO YOUR SOUTHERN SWAMP WHICH YOU CRAWLED OUT OF. Fool boys and their wearing of tight shirts. Boo. Hiss.

Now, SPECER wore a tie. *plots*

I gave it four stars out of five. SSABWSFRALMRFTFW. *cough*

Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson

In most books, the basic things are set up within the first couple of chapters, and then events unfold from there for most of the book, perhaps with a twist at the end. That is a lovely pattern.

That is not the pattern this book follows. Things Just Keep Happening, for the ENTIRE STORY. And I don't want to spoil any of it for you... I'll just go over the basics of how the story starts, then. *nods* That sounds reasonable!

It opens with a man in prison. He breaks out, killing several guards with a sentient, talkative, and bloodthirsty sword, but only after stealing something from another prisoner, and then killing the man. Then he vanishes from the story, and we go to watch a 17 year old princess who has suddenly been declared the most-expendable of her father's daughters. She's being sent off to marry the God-King of a neighbouring empire to try and stave off war just a LITTLE longer. This marriage is considered a death sentence, since as soon as she's produced a heir she's expendable. Also, the God-King has returned from the dead, is considered omnipotent and commands an army of zombie soldiers. This, plus the fact that she's not allowed to look at or talk to him, makes the prospective marriage not quite a completely joyful idea. Meanwhile, an atheist God is grappling with his inclination towards the seven deadly sins. And then- Oh, just read it. Then we can talk about AWESOME SWORDS AND COLOURS AND DEVIOUS MERCENARIES AND SNARKY FREAKING GODS. *cough*

I gave it four stars out of five. The only reason that it's not at five stars, was a vague feeling that it was moralizing in a way that I didn't quite agree with. It was very vague, but enough to make me not want to read it every night before I go to bed/carry extra copies to pass around to friends, which is the level of awe and adoration required to get to five stars in Jasmine-World right now. With that said, you should all go read a copy. Lightsong the atheist god wins at life. (And death.)

Birth Marked, Caragh M. O'Brien

As is proper for post-acolypic dystopian agricultural narratives, Gaia is named Gaia. (I wonder what after?) She's also a teen midwife. Which, you know, is not the most common of tropes. Especially since part of the job description around here "advancing" four babies every month to the walled city known as the Enclave. They supply the shanty town outside with food and a measure of medical supplies, and in return the town takes their children.

Just so you know, the babies aren't being used for organ harvesting, if that was what you thought first. You have a terrible, dark wicked mind. *pause* Let's be friends! *cough* No, the kids are being adopted. They have a chance to live much better lives than the kids outside the wall. Lots of food, lots of water, better schooling, all around comfier lives. However, the Enclave only takes "perfect" children, which is why Gaia was never up for advancement. She has a fairly blatant scar across her face, caused by hot candle wax when she was small.

Anyways, there's a bit of the world. When the story opens, Gaia's just successfully completed her first solo job, and as a part of it, had to advance a new baby. It's not the best way to start a career as a midwife, for sure. She's come home in search of some tea and a hug from mom, and found that the day just got significantly worse. You don't like the government regulations on your job? HA! Try the government kidnapping your parents and sending an annoying officer down to question you about how loyal you are! Things can't get worse now! Well, except for the news that execution is on the menu for her family, you know...

Gaia quickly formulates a plan some might call foolish, or even insane. That would be because it IS insane, but let's not dwell too much on that. I mean, what else could go wrong? Aside from the public hanging...

I really liked the characters here. They weren't the kind who start shouting about their emotions all over the page, which I have heard people complain about, because "you never get to know the characters," but I like it. I mean, how often in real life are we privy to people confessing exactly how that makes them   feel in the middle of extensive trauma? Because, let's face it, these are people who have been through a lot, and none of it making them inclined to trust easily. And sometimes actions speak louder than words, after all. *smiles* I'm sorry, the romance just makes me melt inside a bit. I am so behind that relationship it is not even fit. The fact that I started shipping them from the first meeting is probably a sign of my deeply flawed idea of romance, but let's not be too nice about the details, okay?

Oh, and the death scene was one of the best ones I've read in a long time. It's just, quietly devastating.

I gave it four stars out of five. And I had to write the author, and she said there IS a sequel in the works, WHEW. If read it, you'll know why I closed the book and promptly went to her website to find the contact form. It's a very. Um. Modern ending.

P.S. Finding science in the book is a bonus game. :D Play it with your friends!

Hex Hall, Rachel Hawkins

So Sophie Mercer is a witch. Not in a "sacrifice goats and call up demons" way, but in a "my dad was a warlock who got my mom pregnant and then kinda neglected to tell her about that or the magic that ran in the family until AFTER I was born with the ability to make some really socially inappropriate people fall in love with each other," way. And Sophie isn't supposed to use her magic when normal people might see it, but she slipped one night at a dance, and things went DRAMATIC.

Wham, welcome to Hecate Hall, where Prodigium (faries, witches, and shifters) are sentenced invited to go when they can't "control themselves." She's gone from almost normal life, to reform school with people who can kill you with their minds. ^_^ To make things even BETTER, she finds out after she's there that her DAD, (remember the warlock who neglected to mention his war-lock-ness to her mom?) is now head honcho of the committee that's in charge of keeping Prodigium secret- which translated means that everyone she's going to school with has a grudge against her dad, and therefore her.

Oh, and the cute guy she's crushing majorly on is dating the mean girl who is alternately trying to recruit her into her lovely little "oh, let's raise some zombies on the weekend, it'll be fun and sparkly!" group and trying to sabotage what's left of Sophie's life. And Sophie's been in the "normal" world for most of her life, so she's behind the curve on most every subject that the twelve year olds think a teddy bear could master.

What does Sophie do? What any self-respecting teenager would do. Say "I hate my life," be sarcastic to teachers, make friends with the only other person who has a similar social standing (the pink-loving vampire who OMG, might have EATEN someone!) and sigh from a distance at the cute boy.

AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES DARK.

DUM DUM DUM.

The summary I just wrote might not be entirely accurate to all the details. JSYK. I didn't want to spoil things for you. I want you to read the book, and when it hits the end, to have my exact reaction- OMWORD THAT IS FREAKY OH NO BODY COUNT WAH I TRUSTED YOU WHO CAN I TRUST EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE. (That reaction might be a trifle louder than I am normally, but I just ate half a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Volume happens.)

Let's go over the points that I feel need to be communicated.

1. You should read this book, so that Rachel writes many more books that we the general population gets to read. The fact that it is lovely and has a wonderful plot and I read it in one sitting is taken for granted, as related to the caps lock in the previous paragraphs.
2. I love Sophie's sarcasm.
3. I love Archer. I know things look bad, but that's only because the circumstances LIE LIKE A RUG. We don't have all the information! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION THINGS WILL LOOK BETTER.
4. Jenna's story is wonderful. I need to make a note and put it on my wall so that I treat all "side characters" in a similarly made-of-stark-awesome way.
5. I want Demonglass now. Plz?

I gave it four stars out of five. Go read it. I need to go find tea and learn how to communicate without shouting.

Command Decision, Elizabeth Moon

Continuing in the Vatta's War series! I read three books in four days, while working full time and pretending to write my own stories. I think you should know this. *nods* My total tardiness in writing the reviews is only because I am terribly slow at writing reviews, not because the books are slow. *nods again*

So, where were we?

Oh, yes. Kylara Vatta, her cousin Stella, her cousin's ex-lover Rafe, and her great Aunt Grace are all neck deep in political, military and economic machinations. However, I can't tell you about them, because of spoiler-related reasons. It's tragic, I know.

Oh, okay, maybe a little. Rafe goes home to check out his family, since as we all know, he's such a family man. I mean, when we first meet him he's acting as a fence on a disreputable space station, and he gets described as "roguish." Doesn't that say family man to you? Totally says family man to me. *nods* So he goes home. And then he finds that things aren't quite like he expected. For one thing, the plants are dead. For another, his room is exactly like he left it. For the son of a dedicated gardener, who was told to get out of the house and not come back, this is rather disconcerting. (Don't you think it's disconcerting? I think it's disconcerting.) So he starts looking around, and figures out that, well... You know how Bad Things have been happening to the Vatta family, and their company? They're not the only ones who've been hit with sudden bad luck.

Just so you know, the body count is rather startlingly high. Startling because I'm used to YA, yes, but also, well, I'm used to life being kinder. People just don't DIE like that! Don't they? *decides her family is unimportant, so there's no danger*

And speaking of Body Count, Ky is off being Ky. Things go Boom. People are motivated. Secret Technology is used. Pirates Pirate. Pirates go Boom. Good Guys go Boom. Pretty boys try really, really hard to go Boom. (Is that a euphemism? I'll never tell. ^_^)

And it all led up to a grand denouncement, and then the book stopped. GLEHHHHHH. If you're going to read this series, you really should know it's mostly like one book, just in five volumes. It's like her editor looked at the reams of paper Ms. Moon had just broken her desk with and said "Great book, let's draw and quarter it." But I gave it four stars out of five, so clearly I liked it. :D

Engaging the Enemy, Elizabeth Moon

This is the third story in the Vatta's War series. These are dense books, where almost nothing happens. I mean, things HAPPEN, in dramatic, deadly fashion, but a great deal of time is also given to the hazards of not knowing local manners in a new port, and side stories about racism which don't have much to do with the MAIN plot. And I love them. *huggles*

I, uh, can't really talk much about the plot without giving away spoilers for the first two books. *I ponder this* Let's see. Well, in the first book, everyone was just reacting. In the second one, they were scrambling to stay alive. In this one, they've finally got some time to think about what the heck just happened. So of course, everyone starts to distrust each other. Communications are still out, and with interstellar travel taking weeks, that means everyone has plenty of time to become suspicious of the insane suggestions everyone else is coming up with.

Oh, and Aunt Grace comes fully onto the stage. Before, she was just the devious old aunt who appears somewhat like Miss Marple. SHe seemed fluffy and pink to hide her incisive mind- and that's cool, right? Miss Marple is Cool! Aunt Grace is not like Miss Marple. She is honestly frightening, in a way that Kylara, with all her soul-searching, isn't. If there's an overarching character theme of this series, it's how to deal with being a natural-born-killer. There are three people in series so far who have this trait, and they all react to it a little bit differently.

Wow, this was rambling. Sheesh, I need coffee. I WAS a little bit disappointed by the Court scene, that seemed too easy. Everything else in the story has been hard, why does this obstacle just give up and die? But overall, I really enjoyed it. I gave it four stars out of five.

Marque and Reprisal, Elizabeth Moon

I really like science fiction. I like it for its scope, and its ability to comment on social and political ideas, and for its acceptance of detail, and for its technology. Oh, I do like me some technology. I like seeing how things work, and science fiction is a genre which reliably guides me through the working of all KINDS of things. And since it's it's in story form, it's fun and mixed up with treason, or something. :D

Squee banking!

Yes, I did say banking. Because this book manages to make banking interesting, and relevant to the story. Anyone who can do that has my wholehearted respect. Have I mentioned that I'm a bit of an Elizabeth Moon fangirl? Especially after reading this book. (And the series.)

So, here's a bit of the plot. Kylara Vatta was a promising up and coming young officer in Slotter Key's version of the Royal Military College, until she was nice to the wrong person, got kicked out, dumped by her boyfriend, and suddenly back in the family shipping business. BORING change from the military to moving parcels, right? Er, not so much...

That was last book in the series, and Kylara is several systems away from home, having defeated a bunch of terrorists and mutineers. It's time to restock and get back to making a profit. But first she needs to get through the necessary paperwork from last book, and talk to the family. She's in a call with the family when they are attacked by someone unknown, and communications go down. The timing of the call dropping is pretty providential, though, because she goes to see about fixing this, just in time to miss some assassins.

Assassins require more paperwork, much less the attempt to blow up her ship while she's explaining to the police that those men totally had guns pointed at her, and all the time it is becoming clearer that things are going seriously bad. You thought terrorist attacks and assassins were bad? Try freakishly co-ordinated terrorist attacks on everyone in your family, all over the galaxy- from what you manage to hear, because communications are down. Everything is hearsay, rumours and flying thick and fast, and the bank is declining to offer you credit so you can get your boat OFF of this place where people are trying to kill you! (I told you banking was relevant.) FINANCE IZ SEW STRESSFUL.

Oh, and you probably think I just gave away the entire plot. Not so. That's, hmmm, a skimming overview of the first couple of chapters. The plot is just like chain mail, I'm telling you.

And the characters are delightful. :D I heart Toby so hard. Only slightly more than Lee, though. And Rafe I heart from a FAR distance. Him and his limes.

I gave it four stars out of five. I really, really liked it. :D

Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

*BEWARE of Spoilers for The Hunger Games*

So I read the first book in the Hunger Games series. I both loved it and was furiously annoyed with certain things that Katniss did or did not do. When I read THIS one, (book two) I realized that these annoying things were there to show character development! Ms. Collins is so wise.

So, plot-ness. Katniss and Peetah won the last Hunger Games together! This thrilled the reality-tv junkies in the capital, inspired everyone else out in the districts, and really, really annoyed the Government. The Government being the kind of people you don't really want to annoy, but you knew that already. (The kidnapping children to kill each other in a televised contest every year was MY tipoff, what was yours?)

The President is annoyed enough that he comes down to visit Katniss, which is a subtly chilling thing, the more you think about it. He has the power to kill her by any manner of imaginative ways and have it filmed, and she just defied him on national television. The scare-factor of the visit goes up a notch when Mister President reveals that he has visited for one reason. To tell her that he wasn't taken in by her little performance with the berries, but he's giving her "the benefit of the doubt." (Somehow, that phrase spoken by Machiavelli isn't convincing. Et tu?) But if she manages to convince the nation, and him, that she's blissfully, madly in love with Peetah, he might let her and her family and everyone she cares for live. Maybe.

Just makes you want to vote for the man, doesn't it?

So, this makes sure that Peetah and Katniss are nice little trophy victors. (Mostly.) They behave well on the tour, propose on cue, act stunned with joy- and it's all for naught.

No, I am not saying more about the plot here, which lack of information makes me want to chortle evilly. Though that is my default state, so perhaps that doesn't mean much. *EVIL CHORTLE*

Last book, I was annoyed because Katniss got through a death tourney, with having killed almost no one. This book, it's not like that. :D Character Development, Hello there! Nice to see you! And nice to see how you've decided to visit almost everyone except Gale, to boot! You spent a nice lot of time with Haymitch too, and Cinna, which makes me both endlessly delighted and want to gut you! How could you do that to them!?! See how many exclamation marks you make me use!?! You meanie!

Oh, and aside from the obvious themes of death, terror and freakish machinery -"let's have a tidal wave of BLOOD! Awesome, yes!"- I noticed a theme of information not being communicated to the MCs. They're blundering around stages watching old men be shot, while in the background people in the know plan things and tell everyone ELSE what's going on. Given the acknowledged presence of torture in this world, I can hardly blame them, but it still makes for several moments where I experienced that so-familiar teenage angst. WHY DON"T I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?

So yes, the book still annoyed me, even while I loved it. :D I just loved it more and was less annoyed than by Hunger Games.

Oh, and the ending. So called. Oddly enough, the "ending" for this annoyed me FAR more than the "ending" in The Summoning, which I recently heard compared to this one. I mean, in The Summoning, at least it ends conversations. THIS BOOK ENDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOCKING STATEMENT. That's just CHEAP TRICKS, People! Yanking my chain like that. *grumbles*

I gave it four stars out of five. Can I have Mockingjay now please?

13 Little Blue Envelopes, Maureen Johnson

Now, I follow Maureen Johnson's blog and twitter, and she is very funny. :D I was expecting a very lighthearted, slightly absurd book when I picked this up. I didn't get that. I got something much better.

The premise of the story consists of something I used to wish desperately would happen to me when I was smaller. Ginny's Aunt Peg has given her a thousand dollars and instructions to fly to england, where she is met with a bank card and thirteen little blue envelopes. Challenges she has to gets to perform while traveling around Europe. (Kind of a personal amazing race. :D)

So she does the challenges, which are insane and hilarious, and really pushing Ginny outside of her comfort zone. I don't want to spoil them for you, so I'm not going to talk about the challenges. (Lion tattoo, lolz.) I'm going to talk about WHY she goes through with them. You see, Ginny has always admired her madcap, artistic aunt.

And Aunt Peg recently died of a brain tumour. This "challenge" is what she left Ginny in her estate.

When I met it, that- for me- was the first sign that the story wasn't going to be the carefree romp I expected. There is hilarious humour and it made me want to travel, yes, but that's also right smack up there side by side with the understanding that people you love die. Die unexpectedly, on the other side of the world, without coming home, none the less.

I'm gonna be a bit macabre here, and say I loved how the book dealt with death. Everyone reacted in a very realistic way- or what I could consider a realistic way. They weren't noisy about it, and they got mad at the person who was gone, and they did things that looked like "moving on," or even forgetting, while really keeping the person well in their memories.

It really made me want to read more books set in the "real world" (e.g. not fantasy,) if they could balance the understandings that life is hilarious, and embarrassing, and miserable, and full of love, and wonderful, and you can love people even when they are far from perfect. (Very far from perfect.) I gave it four stars out of five. (Also I loved how the romance, while important, wasn't the central focus of everything. :D It was just in the background of everything. Which is way more awesome.)

The Demon's Lexicon, Sara Rees Brennan

I haven't done a really long, rambling, absurd book rant in a while. Let's get ON that!

Okay. You know how when you really want to read a book but it's not in the library system, and you have no money, and you have no booking friends off of which you could steal it, and so you start stalking the author's blog and any place where they might be mentioned?

Yes, I'm here to say- don't do that. I managed to spoil every single plot point of his book for myself before I read it.

BE WISE, MY READERS. RESIST THE LURE OF BLOGS WITH FUNNY AUTHORS AND TEMPTING SPOILERS.

So, as a result of my rash behaviour with spoilers, I can't really comment on the unexpectedness of the plot. I can only comment on how well the plot and characters are stitched together. (btw, now I'm reading all of SRB's blog post with great care, and if "spoiler" is even breathed about, I don't click. I learned my lesson. Hopefully.)

Right, so the book. Plot wise, Alan and Nick are teen brothers, who live with their insane mother. I do not mean eccentric, I mean insane. Screaming fits are customary, and if she takes off her necklaces she'll die. But Nick and Alan get on pretty well by themselves. Alan works, and Nick is in school, and they move whenever the magicians get too pesky.

Ah yes, the magicians. One of the necklaces which Mum is wearing? It's a charm which she stole, and magicians from all over the country want it. So they're going after it. And by "going after" and "pesky" I don't mean annoying letters, I mean trapping children into circles which can only be broken when someone inside is burned alive, and sending homicidal crows and demons in through the the kitchen window.

Right, demons. Magicians have power to alter things in this world, but they always want more power. It's part of the lifeblood of being a magician. They can get more power by summoning demons and bargaining with them. Yes, Demons do not take Visa. Think payment in the bodies of enemies, or people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe your friend who drew the wrong straw.

Anyways, Nick and Alan have managed quite well to herd their insane mother along, avoid demons and magicians, and lie low. And then one day two teen siblings, brother and sister, appear at the back door, and Nick hadn't even had time to get the body of the latest magician out of the kitchen. I mean, inconsiderate much? Even more inconsiderate, the boy has a third tier demon mark on him, which means he's gonna die. Sooner, rather than later. In nasty ways.

Nick's all for leaving the kid to die and moving away, but Alan has a crush on the girl, and so he insists on helping her, and then things get serious when Alan tries to protect the useless children, and is marked himself.

The book is inside Nick's POV, which raises the bar for characters everywhere. He's so UNsympathetic that I liked him for it. The boy is nothing if not consistent...

Nick is rude, mean, harsh, laconic, hurtful, angry, violent, and very good looking. He is never not rude, mean, harsh, laconic, hurtful, angry, violent, and very good looking.

"Children, teachers and dogs liked Alan. Girls liked Nick. He thought it was a fair trade."

Despite many references to Nick's debauchery, there weren't any actual scenes of it, which was both disappointing (show me, don't tell me about it!) and very, very good. I am not old enough for those scenes. Especially with Nick in charge. Whew, is it warm in here or is it just me? Moving on... He has NO sense of humour, or if he does it would probably involve hurting children or small animals. He likes knives. Not because they're shiny, because they're good for killing people. He's a good dancer and he's the one in charge of getting rid of the bodies. He's honest. He's so honest... When he said he wishes you'd die he's not just speaking in anger. He wants you to die, and he can help with that.

Completely on the other side of the spectrum is Jamie. Jamie who is quiet, wordy, sarcastic, physically weak, hiding things, and gay. (Probably the only way to be more on the other side of the spectrum would be to wrap himself in electric lights and sing showtunes. With feathers. Which Jamie might do someday, on a dare, if he were not still running for his life.) He's the one with the demon mark, and I have an uneasy feeling he's been being visited by an incubus, but let's just skate over that issue. I'm definitely too young for that. Nick writes him off almost immediately, and he doesn't get his hilarious one-liners, so sadly the book doesn't spend as much time around Jamie as I'd like. I would like to go on record right now, though, as saying that I don't trust him. He's too good at hiding. And sarcasm.

"I'm not all that accustomed with the walking dead. Is it alright if I cry with terror now?"

WATCH OUT FOR JAMIE IN BOOK TWO. (Also there's spoiler related clues to him being dangerous, but still. I shan't share spoilers. ^_^)

Jamie's sister is Mae, who is Alan's crush. She's also a girl, which means that Nick thinks she's his lawful prey, at times. Did I mention that this book is from the POV of a boy? And that Mae is a girl? Who wears skirts? And shirts Nick can and does look down? And yeah. It's kinda hard to separate Mae-in-nick's-head from Mae-Who-Is-Real. Mae IRL is brave, pretty, smart, loyal, stubborn, and trying so hard to keep everyone together. Mae in Nick's head is- less awesome, and more of a pawn. (Though she does flirt well.) Cause she's a girl, and not Alan, and Alan likes her. She's something to be used against Alan, and therefore gets more attention than Jamie. But the focus is still on Alan.

Alan, Nick's brother. He reads Ancient Sumarian, did you know that? He also carries a gun, instead of the swords which Nick favours, and he never misses. He's crippled and nerdy and very, very good at lying. Children and dogs like him. He's not, really, trustworthy. But not only do you have no choice but to trust him, you want to. He's just so GOOD at lying! But he's probably lying for a good cause. Depending on your definition of what a "good" cause is.

The characters are REALLY, really well done. This isn't one of those "subvert the stereotypes" characters casts. They seem so individual that you (if you're me) are halfway through the book before you realized that they might adhere to a stereotype at all. "Wait, Alan's a nerdy boy, and Nick's the strong silent type? HAHAHAH. Ahem." I'm really looking forward to Demon's Covenant. ^_^

I gave it four stars out of five.