"The Five Oh First puts their armour on one piece at a time just like us..."

I'm very numb. I realize this when I try to write. Instead of anything, I'm just tired. Maybe if I was somewhere else- but I'm not. Once again, I'm here, in this lovely friendly small town. Surrounded by my loving family. Numb.

Am I, am I still tough enough?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

*stops*

Oh, you're there? *coughs* Sorry, got a little carried away for a moment. At work today, I got ATTACKED, attacked I tell you, by another idea for Karma Police. I really need to get that thing written before it becomes as epic as Expendables. 

Which I'm still writing, by the way! And if there is anyone out there who wanted more, and didn't get it yesterday, I'm sorry. I'm still 5k into ONE SCENE THAT WILL NOT END. So I thought I should at least finish it before I sent it out. Though I am starting to suspect that this story is my curse. It keeps spawning these scenes which just, keep, going...

Oh, and the idea for Karma Police? I get to be a bad guy. *maniacal chuckling* I'm still trying to decide if the rest of the Unholy trinity, (and Minions,) will be in there too. Torture, blood and mayhem FTW! I could totally break people, right? Right? :D Anyhow, by the time the first draft is finished the characters will probably be totally different. 

Oh, man, I love writing. I just wish I was faster.

"I think you drunk would be an awesome and a terrible thing. In the original senses of the words."

Yes, I'm still writing. Not very fast, and not very well, but the scenes keep being nailed into shape.

Oh wait, that was a lie. *laughs* Scenes, what a joke. I have, so far this week, written 4k, in ONE scene. But it was a fun scene. :D I described a bunch of people, kinda, and Sarti turned her hair blue. That girl is starting to worry me. She came into the story as a quiet, friendly girl, and now she's kicking drug addictions, fangirling over ships, and dying her hair blue. 

I need to go make pie, but here's a sample of my writing quality. 

“We were doing to be under the command of someone who’s more experienced in this kind of thing, a Lieutenant Phewhee, but he fell unexpectedly ill with flesh eating fungus twenty minutes ago."

"We get to hallucinate too? I should have done this years ago!'

A shout out out to each of my poor mistreated (main) characters. :D

Tenish: You're made of awesome. You're SO made of awesome. I'm sorry about what I'm going to do to you, I really am. But you'll get through it- you're made of awesome.

Haggerty: Watch your mouth, man. Though you probably did get me 200 extra words for that scene alone, not to mention the whole "fighting the guest" deal. I, ah, don't quite know if I like you or not.

Neph: See, aren't you glad you survived? You have the potential to be made of awesome, I just know it. *hugs him*

Jole: You poor man. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry? I'll get you out in the end, I SWEAR!

Bleach: You're an arrogant S.O.B. and you need to bleed. I'm sorry I wasn't able to show that yet. It will come, though, never fear.

Etna: Life happens, we know. I'll get them out safe. I'm sorry? I'll just be, uh, over here. Please don't look at me.

Jaslyn: You're hard core, woman. *runs away*

Sarti: See, aren't you glad you unexpectedly turned out to be a druggie? Now you get to play with ships, and hallucinate and stuff! *sheepish* I'll, uh, find you a nice guy. *cough* *backs away*

Bensch, Tru, Terra and Pepper: Your moment will come, I swear. You have good moments, too. With books and ribbons.

Dane: I hate you. *slaps him*

Verjinya: STOP CRYING, GIRL. *slaps her*

Petria. Well, now that I know your backstory, it makes more sense. I'm sorry you ever looked at Dane? *pats on shoulder* And it just gets worse for you, too. I'm sorry. See, here's some nice chocolate! You like chocolate, right?

Appel: *laughs* I don't actually know your backstory, or what you have hidden in that room of yours, or what illegal activities you're engaged in. But I'm sure they're VERY interesting. And your tattoo is shiny.

Jennet: I'm sorry... *hugs her* But you're too smart to not know the truth.

Tanner and all the Guardians: I'M SORRY!!!!!! I NEEDED DEATH SCENE!

Kael: I would apologize, but you brought it all on yourself. And you know this. Look, it does get better, eventually. So don't get too drunk, please? Uh, Tenish, could you watch Kael please? She's gone off to hurt herself again...

Dulamon: You might be one of my favorite characters of all time. So I send creepy women your way and set you on fire. Huh. CAUSE I KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE IT!!! And the message thing was really sweet, it really was. Too bad she never got the messages and settled for cutting herself instead. Yep, you fail, man. Maybe I'll give you a second chance?

Howling: Uh, please no torture? I mean, what would be the point of that? Uh, don't answer that. I'll just stay on the other side of the 'verse, thank you. Stay away. I will shoot you with a flame thrower!

I like my story. :D

"You're leaving me for DRUGS?"

Well, technically I won. *cheery* And I wrote the longest story I've ever gotten out of my head. However, I'm, uh, not done. I just FINALLY arrived at the main "adventure;" 88,802 words in. That is so fail, it's almost matchy. :D

And I had a ball. For all the people on PEN, and who I stalked over the internet and through friends, you're awesome. Knowing that other people were also wringing their hands over their plot or lack thereof, torturing their characters for their own good, and coming out with FLIPPING AMAZING quotes- made it easier to keep going.

PENredux in May, anyone?

BTW: Oh, and for anyone who is reading my story, when they're talking abut Drudges or Intellectuals or whatnot, this is the chart to keep in mind.

“The Organization of Work Roles by Intelligence Quota. 

Drudge, IQ of 80 or below. 

Worker, IQ of 80 to 100.

Technician, IQ of 100 to 115.

Skilled, IQ of 115 to 130.

Intellectual, IQ of 130 or above.

”Each ranking will be offered jobs as appropriate to their abilities.”

"You can have the tied up ones. I work better when their hands are free.

So, I have so much to do, in terms of story. And all my people are out of their heads right now. This isn't helped by the fact that I'm really out of my head. 

Yeahhhhh, sleep has been calling my name since I woke up. And here I have to be social and watch silly movies. I just watched Bulletproof monk, which is an amusing film. I think my intolerance of the film was aided by the fact that I've seen better characters written by my friends in the past month. MUCH better characters. In the first draft that was written in the middle of the night. And now I'm watching an intensely low budget film called Merlin's Apprentice. It's the kind of thing you traditionally watch in the middle of the night. *sigh*

THAT WAS SO WRONG. THAT ENTIRE MOVIE SCENE WAS SO INCREDIBLY POOR IT BLOWS MY MIND.

*cough*

I want to sleep, and then write. Oh well.

"People are blowing their brains out on life."

I'm really, failing at writing lately. Yeahhhhh. I wrote just a shade over 5oo words yesterday, and when Bahnree's gicon started winking at me I decided it was time to sleep. (Just to clarify, it was a static picture. No moving allowed. And I swear it winked at me.) And tomorrow morning early I will be going into town, WAAAHHOOOOOO, and so I will not have the chance to write, as my friends are forcing me to be social. Huzzah for going downtown to stare at boys and having firefly marathons!

This leaves me with, tonight. To write 17,500 words, if I'm to make 100k. I don't think its going to happen. I also think that means I'm going to have to leave off, with everyone under imminent threat of death. 

OKAY, NEW GOAL; Get everyone on the planet, and talking, by the end of the month. Maybe I'll have time to do a spot of recon, but I doubt it. 

Baby you're my disease...

Petria just informed me that her Theme song is Rehab, by Rihanna and Justin Timberlake. Should I be concerned? I don't even listen to Rihanna, it just came up on a Youtube video. Good Grief.

"I don't know, where to, start. Say I'm tired, or throw a party."

Character quiz*, mark 1. Jennet's story
*stolen from Bahnree, who stole if from Kemendraugh, who stole it from Bahnree, who stole it from someone else...*

I have so many characters I don't know what to do with them, and I just am about to introduce a bunch more. So, I'm going to do this one in sessions. First session; the people who traumatize Jennet, and Jennet.

A. How old are you?
Jennet: 18
Appel:18
Jole: 18
Dane: 18 and three quarters.
Tanner: 31

B. Height?
Jennet: 5' 4"
Appel: 6' 2"
Jole: 5' 8"
Dane: 5' 11"
Tanner: 2 m.

C. Do you have any bad habits?
Jennet: Uh, I blush a lot? *blushes* I'm TRYING to stop, but everyone keeps doing things. And stop looking at me!
Appel: Define "bad." I have some illegal habits, sure.
Jole: I keep failing to successfully commit suicide. I need to stop that.
Dane: No? What could possibly be wrong with me?
Tanner: Playing poker.
(Jennet: Oh, so you loose money at poker?
Tanner: No. I win, and then other people are broke. And that creates tension.)

E. What’s your hairstyle?
Jennet: Style?
Appel: Light brown, straight, I get it cut about once every six months
Jole: It's- black. And short? *looks at it through your eyes* Is that gel? Did the girls gel me AGAIN? CARMINITA!!!!
Dane: Brown with blond pointing, really touchable.
Tanner: Red hair, usually with a bit of high explosive in it. That stuff gets everywhere.

F. Have any kids?
Jennet: *blushes* Nooooo?
Appel: Heh. None that I know about.
Jole: No.
Dane: How was I to know that the stupid girl would get all emotional about it?
Tanner: We're gonna apply for permission again after this tour.

G. Favorite food?
Jennet: I like apple juice. And strawberry smoothies!
Appel: Barbecue beef sandwiches.
Jole: Tea. Earl grey, if you have it.
Dane: Steak.
Tanner: Beer.

I. Killed anyone?
Jennet: No. Uh, should I be concerned that you're asking me that? *looks around nervously*
Appel: No one has ever died when I was present.
Jole: Does failing to get it through- Okay, that was not my fault. She was graduated, and everything. I'm gonna say no.
Dane: No.
Tanner: I don't keep track of the count.

J. Hate anyone?
Jennet: That sounds really definite. I, don't think I'm able to be mad at someone that long.
Appel: Yes.
Jole: Yes. And no, you don't get to know who. Break my shields yourself, if you want to know- oh wait. You can't. That's right.
Dane: If I don't like them they're not worthy of my notice.
Tanner: It's not professional.

K. Any secrets?
Jennet: *goes resolute* I have no idea what you're talking about.
Appel: Do you think I should? *winks and slouches against the wall*
Jole: Huh. I try.
Dane: Look. My life is an open book. All you have to do is look at my perfect record. There's nothing to hide!
Tanner: Don't you think the weather is lovely today?

L. Love anyone?
Jennet: My little sister, and Matthew, and all the staff, and Appel, and Petria, and Jole, and- wait a second. How are we defining "love?"
Appel: Why should I tell you?
Jole: It's better not to become emotionally involved. In anything.
Dane: Myself. *realizes that he said that out loud.* Self respect is important!
Tanner: Katy. *grins sheepishly* She's gonna wait for me.

M. What is your job?
Jennet: Controller Trainee! It's so fun!
Appel: Controller Trainee, for now.
Jole: Controller Tech.
Dane: Controller. *voices are heard from off camera* Wait, what do you mean I can't say that till I graduate? I got in, what more do you want? *goes off to argue*
Tanner: Guardian, Out of Nation VIPs, specifically controller Trainees

N. Are you a boy or a girl?
Jennet: Girl.
Appel: Man.
Jole: Man.
Dane: *comes back into the room.* Wait, what? Oh. boy.
Tanner: Man.

O. Family?
Jennet: One mother, one little sister, little sister's dad.
Appel: Whatever.
Jole: I never met them. I suppose they're out there, if I was to look. And I wanted to risk them meeting me.
Dane: My family is highly upstanding and well connected.
Tanner: Katy is my family now.

P. Best Friends?
Jennet: Uh, Jole? And Petria talks to me sometimes. And Appel drugged me that one time, which was nice. *looks around.* Wait, what did I say? What did I SAY??
Appel: I'm working on it.
Jole: No. Carmanita, get yourself off me. We fight, we are not friends.
(Carmanita: That's what you say. You know you'd bail me out. And I called the medics on you.
Jole: *glares* That was not a friedly thing to do.
Carmanita: Oh, so a friend would have just watched you die?
*they argue, and forget the question.*
Dane: Everyone who meets me wants to be friends with me. *smug*
Tanner: Well, right now everyone is getting used to being broke, so not at work. *someone off camera says something* Wait, what are you doing with that message? That's private! Get your grimy hands off of Katy!

Q. What was the most surprising moment in your life up until now?
Jennet: Uh, uh, it's hard to chose. When we got the letter about my dad? That was pretty shocking. Or, uh, when I realized where Jole had brought me? OH! The first time I logged on with Jole. That was a good day. Even if I was pretty sore afterwards. *Looks around and goes red* I said something wrong again, didn't I? Oh my.
Appel: I'm not usually surprised.
Jole: When I discovered that I wasn't dead? THANK YOU, Carmanita.
Dane: I always know what's going on. Wait. Verjinya, what were you doing in my room?
Tanner: I'd have to say having a girl fall from the ceiling was not what I expected.

R. Where would you rather be?
Jennet: Do I have to wish to be somewhere else? I tend to be pretty happy where I am.
Appel: Graduated.
Jole: Dead. Or barring that, the UO. Or barring that, anywhere else, after this cursed school burns down.
Dane: In charge of the Nation. Wait, did I say that, out loud?
Tanner: Mmmm. Home with Katy would be nice. But I don't hate my job.

S. Ever wish to be something else?
Jennet: Something? You mean, like a cat? I wanted to be a train when I was three.
Appel: I don't know, I think I'm pretty all right.
Jole: Yes.
Dane: I'd like to be richer. But really, you couldn't improve on anything else.
Tanner: Oh, my job is pretty good.

T. Ever kissed anyone that's not a family member?
Jennet: *goes red* No. Unless, that time when I was so out of it, or that other time, or the time on the ship.. *goes more red* Uh, I'm pretty sure not?
Appel: Yes.
Jole: Yes. I was young, and she was crying.
Dane: Of, course?
Tanner: *emotionless* Yes.

I try to make it through my life in my way, there's you.

Wordcount:74,246
Sanity count: MIA
Sleep count: I've staying up till 130 or 230, and then getting up at 800. Does that make me a bad person?
Caffeine count: Strangely low. Only about three coffees over a twelve hour period, and then I run on stubbornness and water for another six hours.

Overall: I'm writing drivel, but it's my drivel. And fire is pretty.

I burned a crayon in the fireplace yesterday, which was interesting. If you pick it up with the poker, you get drips of flaming stuff ornamenting the fireplace. I also bowed to the inevitable and fired up MSN, (Yes, I do put this on the same level as literally playing with fire,) and was rewarded by being able to talk to the marvelous MoonUnit/Kendra, depending on what week it is. We discussed lots of sketchy things. And silly pink girls. My oh my, I cannot wait till December, and being able to read other people's books. *squees*

Are you noticing a certain "style," shall we say, of coherence? It's not an act. This is how I think right now. Though I'm omitting the profanity for KF-ness. :P

But I also went on a 75 minute walk, and discussed the insanity of liberal lawyers as regarding the military with my Dad, so now I'm all inspired again. Yay for idiots in power! *cough* I'm looking at you, Deshaselane. The walk was good though. A bunch of people dropped their backstory on me, which was startling. Dulamon has a wonderfully sketchy past, complete with self-inflicted blackmail. :D And Etna is freaky. "The attrition rate at that age is, high." Oh, and I also figured out, oh, lots of things.

*looks around vaguely* *headbobs* And if I have to listen to Japanese techno, new rock/country, syth heavy indie rock, alternative, hip-hop, uh- whatever it is that Kendra keeps finding and telling me about, celtic, electronic, AND straight-up rock to keep my brain from shutting down, that's fine, right? Right? *thinks* No, there really is a stunning lack of "christian music" in my playlist. Oh well. *runs away to add linkin park and daft punk*

You're at your best with an ache in your chest...

I stayed up till 2:30 last night getting people drunk. *sigh* It wasn't even a good scene, or anything. But it still amuses me, for a different reason. You know how sometimes you write characters to die? This time I wrote Jaslyn to die. I knew how, and it was such a waste. Anyhow, because of scheduling conflicts, I just can't find the time to kill her yet. You've got a reprieve, girl! But at any rate, I had a group of ten people spring fully formed into my head, including death scenes. It was a little creepy. "Nice to meet you. I have seen your death." And there they were, heavily armed and drinking and swearing, and I could probably count the hours they have left.

Nano is doing fun things to my brain.

"Just out of idle curiosity, how'd you manage to make a girl drop from the ceiling?"

I was feeling highly uninspired today, so I dropped Jennet into the middle of a poker game. Literally, into the MIDDLE of a poker game. And then my people started swearing all over the place. Which was a shock, to be sure.

I'm finally starting to see what other people are talking about when they say that their characters did a certain thing, or wouldn't go to a certain place, and so on. I mean, that's just Selk, and he just swears. :D He can also drink you under the table, and doesn't bother to dodge bullets.

This story is so deeply messed up. *sigh* But tomorrow I get to teach Kael to jump trains! w00t!

I am off to work very soon, (GLAHHHHHHHH, meetings), but I thought I should write this first.

I'm still alive!

Yes, I am still puttering away at my novel. And despite the fact that the story seems to have no end, I am still fully capable of pulling a yesterday, and writing a couple of scenes that amuse me, and do not advance the tiny plot in any way whatsoever. *sigh*

So, my word count is 63,115, and I still don't have them planet side. I mean, you have to admire such exotic fail, in a way. I start a story with two images, stick another one in the middle so there is time between explosions, and by the time I actually write the darn thing, it's obese with characters. I need to stop worrying about the passage of time and just kidnap the kids already. Dum de dum de dum...

And most of the novel is just, silly. *sigh* But today I get to- *evil laughter*

"I'm going to set someone on fire." "It's nice to have these small goals."

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That was earlier. Then I also managed to get the rest of my words done, and am presently at 50,077. I am also starting to be rather concerned about my novel. Hitting the high points, there is a character who likes to walk around with as little clothing as possible, another who is a cross-dressing emo angsty suicidal homicidal maniac, a guy who acts gay- though he likes girls, a guy with two girl friends, an entire posse of girls which includes a druggie, a girl who thinks she's a guy, and a girl with what is probably PTSD. Oh, and a guy who has a bad habit of hacking into girl's minds. At this point my group of severely traumatized clones is the most stable ones of the whole crew. And I have a very thin thread of a plot.

Huh, and put like that, it sounds like a weird story.:D

I think when I do the edit I'm going to divide up Kael's story and Jennet's. They are connected, but only faintly. And trying to juggle them both, which I what I"m doing now, isn't really working. Not only do you have to balance two stories, but it takes forever for anything to happen. SO much time, in fact, that I'm just going to cut out a bunch of stuff I had blocked in, and put it in flashbacks if necessary. Seriously, who wants to wait 50,000 words for anything big to happen? NO ONE. Though I did have fire, and drugs, and lots of fights. :D

We'll see.

Sniggle couches. I'll be marketing these in December.

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"Why should I do anything you tell me?" "Oh, I can be persuasive."

Oh my word, sore hands. *cries over them* Typing 5,865 words in a day will do that to a body. 

Yep, my word count is now 35,865 words, which is less than 1k off target. And speaking of targets, I may as well officially acknowledge that my target is not 50,000. It's 100,000. This did not come about intentionally, as I did not intend to have such an ungainly story that I have only hit the plot today. But since it is huge, and probably will not even be finished within 100,00, in the interests of finishing the story I'm being insane. 

Yes, the line between madness and genius is so thin somethings, isn't it? *thinks* Pretty tricky, that. 

The problem with writing these posts at night is that my brain usually surrendered about an hour before I start in on Blogger. I believe I mentioned this before. But I got to beat up Kael and Haggerty, again, and do a flashback of Kael's which makes me happy. And I also got to get rid of Jennet's useless friends, which means that the cool people, the smart and arrogant ones, not just arrogant, are showing up really soon. Oh, and I knocked Neph unconscious, but he's used to that. 

In other incoherent news, here is the soundtrack I was listening to to prepare for nano. Now it changes daily, but still. The names in brackets are if the song is specifically for a certain person, other wise it's just the whole universe.

• Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap (Jennet)
  
• Ill-M-I, Tobymac (all the 57th EF)
  
• Get Me Through December, Allison Krauss and Natalie McMaster
  
• Ironic, Alanis Morissette
  
• Into the Ocean, Blue October (Jole (to the max))
  
• To America We Go, Ashley McIssac, (Etna)
  
• Move Along, All-American Rejects
  
• Hurt, Johnny Cash (Kael)
  
• Blow Me Away, Breaking Benjamin (Haggerty)
  
• Love Song, Sara Bareilles
  
• Anywhere Is, Enya
  
• Adrenaline, Gavin Rossdale
  

And yes, I stole alot of this from Bahnree, but I steal most of what I DO from her. So there. 

"What is reputation? Is people talking. Is gossip."

So. Yeah. I yesterday worked, and then went to a blood donor clinic. I gave a full donation, and my sister almost fainted. Twas shiny. Then I came home and wrote, and just as I was caught up and ready to start my official words for the day, my friend from out of town came over. So of course I had to introduce her to Firefly, and also lure her brother over to the cause. I got home a little after 1 am.

*cough*

Which was terribly fun, of course. But it now means that I'm not really feeling well, and I'm an entire day behind where I want to be. 

I'm gonna start a fight.

One, nothing wrong with me. Two, nothing wrong me. Three, nothing wrong with me.

Total words: 28, 230

Today's words: 4,571

Short of objective: 1,770

Wow, so, I'm behind. Yeah. The weekend did that. I blame it on the wine, personally. :D As well as my prejudice against writing on a bus full of drunk people who might look over my shoulder and start reading. Oh, and other people's silly prejudice against writing novels at staff parties. Pshaw.

But I managed to get a descent amount done today, and I even made mysterious dinner with things I found under the sink. *cough* I mean, with selected vegetables, oven roasted with fresh ground pepper and olive oil. Isn't marketing fun?

Quote of the day:

I’m sorry Private, I didn’t hear you clearly over the noise my command insignia was making. Did you say that you are able to perform my search at the same level I am? Private?

NO SIR!

"I hate being drunk before lunch."

So, I was in the city for the staff end-of-fiscal year party yesterday, and I didn't get too much written. Like, 500 words? 

I"M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *weeps* *Thinks about what she's done* *weeps more*

So now I am very tired, with a bit of a headache, (not a hangover. :P I have seen the difference.) And I have a lot of words to grab back. *runs after the fleeing words*

But in other news; guess who managed to get her hands on a hardcover copy of Order 66, and Firefly on DVD? Yeah... it really isn't safe to let me into bookstores unattended. And what is it with computer stores only selling games for Wii, Playstation, xbox, PS2 or Windows? We come in other stripes you know! Accept the rainbow! Embrace the diversity! *cough*

I'll go wait for the bus now. 

"Controllers! They have so much junk in their heads they walk funny around magnets!"

Word count total: 16,970

Word count for the day: 3,608

I don't want to do anything other than writing. It's rather interesting. It is also rather interesting how I do not have the words to explain just how intrinsic writing is. We're not talking, something I like, we're talking something I would do rather than eat or sleep. (As is evidenced by the fact that I am still up. :P) 

Anyhow, my story. I like it. People carried other people into shelters, and drugged other people, and rode on trains, and got locked out of shelters in the middle of attacks. And there were also arguments. Lots and lots of those. 

*is sleepy*

Sorry, I'm not too coherent by the time I get to this one. I just thought I'd point out the fact that I'm still alive. *waves*

*curls up in a ball and passes out*

"You keep talking but it makes no sense."

Total Word Count: 10,437

Word Count of the Day: 2,798

I'm beginning to be a trifle worried about my novel. I'm at over 10k, and I just finished the first day, story-wise. So it looks to be slightly epic. Not that I didn't know and fear this before, but it's different to have the stats presented to you. huh.

But I did figure out a couple of things that worried me regarding Kael, the girl who fights with anything that looks at her. :D She and Tenish have a brother-and-sister thing going on, which clears up some big question marks as to exactly how they insult and abuse each other. Oh, and Kael is also probably also in love with a guy back home, her "teacher." He just appeared in my head with a treasonous backstory and lots of air miles. And he's not middle-aged and/or married. He's tall, and has glasses, and muddy hair. He also can break you with his mind, yes YOU, and is one of the few people who can keep Kael under control. She certainly can't. :D

So overall I like it.

"Miss will not be entertaining while her mother is absent?"

Total Wordcount: 7,639

Words today: 3,918

Activities participated in other than writing: I ate three meals, drank two cups of coffee and one hot chocolate, went to our church service and checked facebook a couple of time. A lot of times. Oh, and I did some IM chatting that was fun and pretty much devoid of logic.

I am so spoiled this Nano. I have no school work to get in the way, only part-time work, and no distracting social life. :D Lots of fun time for writing! Yes, it's still oddles of fun. But now the part of my brain which deals in words is dead. DEAD.

*waves weakly and falls down the stairs*

"The first week is supposed to be easy cause you're all inspired and junk; I've never noticed a difference personally."

Title: The Expendables

Word Count for the day: 3271

Activities participated in other than writing: I ate two meals and went for a walk.

Sanity: Okay, we already know I'm not all here. Let's just skip this one in the future.

Confidence: "The invasion is a mere matter of marching."

This includes the thousand and someodd I wrote in the early am of this morning. Yes, I am too lazy to go back and check the post before this. But I have made a monumental discovery, which surprises me every time; I love writing. I just love it. *is blissful* 

And yes, I'm attempting my old practice of front-loading words, cause I really have no idea how long I'll be able to keep up with this. But I'm very happy right now. :D

Let me see, I introduced a bunch of people, three groups in fact. I'm only going to be sticking with two of the groups, and two people from the other passle of people. And yes, most of what I wrote was junk, but there is one line I like.

Private Neph, 15 years old and trying desperately to make up for the fact that he had gotten himself cut into fourteen pieces on his last mission, handed Corporal Tenish a mug of coffee and took an elaborate sip from one himself. “Did it work, sir?”  He had spent two months in sickbay growing back vital organs.

Neph was a surprise, but I like him.

It Has Begun

12:01 to 1:18, 1033 words. 

I'm tired. But I love writing. *is happy*

*falls over*

Happy Halloween, all you silly social people. 

EJECT! EJECT!

It is the night before Nano, and the terror has officially seized me. 

OH MY WORD WHAT AM I DOING?

I can't write... I especially can't write guys. I have no plot, I have 18 THOUSAND different pieces I need to keep track off, and I'm very very scared. *cries* I have, like, 30 characters I need to keep straight. GAHHHHH!!!! There is NO way I'm going to be able to keep them separate. 

Fail...

Hopefully soon the insanity will descend on me to the point that I don't care. 

EDIT: Bahnree has reassured me that having lots of characters is not unheard of, and in fact can even be managed without undue bloodshed. Now if I can only manage to hold onto hope with my fingernails...

"If I go there I loose my way..."

So. I mentioned at the dinner table tonight that Nanowrimo starts soon, and I was excited about it. Given how much it has been featuring in my mind for the last two months, I thought everyone knew I was planning on writing 50,000 words in a month. 

I was in error. 

It seems that given my perceived actions in May, my parents take a dim view of my writing, in this manner at least. I will point out that in May, my parents were not here. I and Courtney were running the house, and on one memorable day, Courtney was driven to tears by the craziness of the house, while on the phone to Mommy and Daddy, while I was at work. The fact that I was spending four hours a day typing was the factor attributed to the craziness. And I was banned from the computer until Pater et Mater returned. 

This is ancient history, but now my delirious happiness about November has suffered a slight hiccup. I was not told not to write, or anything, but my family does not share my enthusiasm, let us say. I am a little concerned about the fact that I haven't picked up on this before. 

So November might be even more interesting then I was expecting, what with angsty novels, familial disapproval, cooking, and funerals and such. 

Nch nch nch

Take a gander!

NaNoWriMo.

*giggles*

"Let there be light."

And the Section Chief fired three rounds of illumination and there was light!
EDIT: This is something my dad said, just as an aside while walking through the room. And I chortled manically into my computer and wrote it down. :P This is also why I am delighted at being able to write actual military guys this Nov. I am also terrified, since I think I'll flub it, but I love the humour. *is gleeful*

"It looks like that to keep people from going mad." *pause* "Of course, some people still go mad."

My oh my I am out of shape. To a truly sad extent. Since I've been working at the bank I have had little or no reason to exercise, since it is about a 2 minute walk away. So what little cardiovascular capability I had laughed at me and departed for southern climes. 

Little knowing this, I just tried to walk to the other end of town and back. Just a light walk, which I used to do all the time. 10 km, or about 6 miles, if I'm remembering correctly. I managed the walk. And now most of the muscles in my body seem to be on fire. *curls up in a ball and concentrates on breathing* gahhhhhhhhhhh.

BUT, to take my mind off the pain, I invented all kinds of technical specifications for my world. Inventing a world is terribly jolly. If you want vacuum sealed trains in your spaceship, in go vacuum sealed high speed trains. In you want medical robots with centipede legs which live under the floor, they are there. With pin stripes. If you want- but that would give away more of my story than I care to give away right now. 

Suffice it to say that it was a fun walk. 

I am a fan of secret rivers!

Here's to inordinate excitement about a probably-foolish undertaking that occurs in a little over three weeks! *breaks out the chocolate*

My story was seeming too large to deal with, but now it's under control. Pretty much. :D Scene charts colour-coded for character POVs are my salvation. As is caller ID. Strangely excellent for names, that. 

And I love my characters. They still need a lot of work done though. :D Strangely,  I know why the girls function, but not exactly what they'll do in any given situation- while I know what the guys would say in most situations, but not why. This issue is probably aided by the fact that I have little-to-no idea why guys do things most of the time. 

In fact, this is probably a good time to offer a flat apology for any masculine POV's I inflict on the world. I'm sorry. 

SO EXCITED!!!!!!

A line that barged into my head without knocking.

"My love, I also desire peace. I simply do not desire my own destruction as a means to that peace.

What, did you think that I enjoy this war? You really are dreadfully idealistic."

"These people are in Brazil, right?" "Yep." "So why are they speaking Spanish?" "Americans." "Right."

I was just trying to write up a synopsis of my story for the Nano website, and I realized that it doesn't really have a plot. I mean, there are lots of people, and they do things, people get mad and things are broken, places are visited and firefights are engaged in; and that's about it. There isn't really anything I can point to and say, "that is what my story is centered around," without looking quite foolish. 

This worries me.

On the other hand, I have a grand total of NO homework, so things could be worse. :P

P.S. Oh, and also there are some massive political machinations, but that's just the setting, not central to the lack-of-plot. Is that all right? Now I'm all worried. *insecure* But it's good that I caught this now, and not three days in, as I did in May.

"A year at college didn't do much towards breaking the coffee habit."

Yeah. 

Remember how I said I'd try to guilt myself into finishing up M's D last month? Didn't work out so hot. I think I wrote, oh, 600 words? If I'm being charitable. 

So now I have three days to try and stay within my self-imposed deadline. 

I bet myself a writing evening at Tim's that I don't make it. (and let's see, so if I win, I have to pay myself a writing evening. And if I lose, I have to pay myself a writing evening. A delicious cycle. :P)

"Don't make me try and find adjectives to describe you."

It's almost the end of September? How did that happen? If find it especially of note because I intend to spend October in preparation for Nano. And I think I'm gonna need the whole month because of my unwieldily story which keeps morphing every time I look at it. (She's angry! She's sad! She's gifted! She's clumsy! They're snobbish! They're nice! They're noble! They're conned! He's trying to commit suicide! He's a secret enemy! And so on...)

I REALLY need to pin it down. But that means I need to get Merchant's Daughter mostly out of my head. Which therefore means that I have to try and get it done by the end of the month. And why am I writing this? Because I hope that, perhaps, I will be guilted enough by my public admission that I will actually finish it. Perhaps. :D

Doesn't hurt to try!

You know what this is? This is awesome slapping you in the face!

"The key is Sincerity. Once you can fake that you can do anything."

I have a story in my head for NaNoWriMo. This is good, yes? Yes. Is good. 

However, it has been in my head since March, pretty much, and it keeps growing. The thing is EPIC. It's Science fiction, which probably helps the scale, but the thing will not retain a sense of perspective. It currently lurks behind my eyes and whispers enticingly that everything is related to the story. Today, the items which set me off were,

This

This

and General Drive-thru-ness 

The thing has tentacles. 

• I have back-story. 
• I have history of my empire(s). Yes, I have THREE distinct cultures which need imagining. Scrap that, I think I need four. Oh my, it's five. Five. Good grief.
• I have three characters who have etched their viewpoints on the inside of my brain and demanded that I relate them, and I can see three others who will grab text if given half a chance. 
• I have four major "adventures" and flashbacks. 
• I have costume design, for goodness sake. COSTUME DESIGN. Why???
• I don't have maps- only because my empires are three-dimensional. 
  

I need to write this before it gets utterly out of control.

I was staring at where my finger wasn't....

Today I was editing Merchant's Daughter, (or the bit which I have typed, (40,00 or so)), and I am totally on a writing high. It's just so much fun! I kept getting kicked off the comp by other family members who wanted to use it, but it was still rather mind-blowing to work with a realized story again. 

It's funny. I can spend hours and hours writing without getting tired. :D

"This is not your moment to shine. This is your moment to fall on your face."

So, I'm gonna try and start to write again. To get me back in the mood, I'm doing a quiz! *grins maniacally*

Rules:
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most one at the least.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Feel free to go ahead and add some question yourself!!

I choose...

1. Lynn
   
2. Adelheid
   
3. Irene
   
4. Herr Bruno
   
5. Kael
   

How old are you?

1. 16
   
2. 19
   
3. 20
   
4. Why are you asking me this? Get out of my Kitchen!
   
5. Depends on what calendar you're using, thou oh-so-intelligent. I'm old enough to take care of myself.
   

Do you have any bad habits?

1. Only according to my Parents.
2. I'm quiet? People keep dying, but it's NOT my fault.
3. My temper can get rather dramatic. I am not joking. If you want to keep your house in one piece, it's not a good idea to anger me.
4. Putting up with the IDIOTS who populate my kitchen!
5. No. These scars are old. And if you touch me, I'll hurt you.

Who’s your mate/spouse?

1. What part of "I'm 16" do you not get? Though I'm engaged. Kind of. Maybe. Uh- Next question!
   
2. I'm single. 
3. The last guy I went out with had to have his memory wiped. Any other questions?
4. I am married to my art. PUT DOWN THAT SALT CELLAR OR I WILL GUT YOU.
5. It's illegal to be married. I have my sisters.

Have any kids?

1. None that I know of!
   
2. Did Margerete put you up to that question?
   
3. What kind of question is that? I just told you I'm single! And yes, I'm old-fashioned. Get over it.
4. *is busy beating the person who dropped a bowl of strawberries*
5. Me, allowed to have kids? That's a joke.

Favorite food?

1. Katie's hot chocolate. I could live on that stuff.
   
2. The little spring eel pies that Margerete makes with the gravy and the vegetables, and the crust so shiny...
3. Lemon bars. But without coconut, and just browned, so the top cracks when you cut into it. Lovely!
4. I love all food. EXEPT THE SLOP THEY SERVE IN OTHER KITCHENS! 
5. Well, here, I suppose I'd have to say the contraband bread from the worker's level was awfully good.  Aside from that, food isn't a point of interest.

Favorite Ice cream flavor?

1. Piscachio.
2. I'm sorry? What?
3. Grasshopper pie. Or rocky road. Or cherry chip. Or Rolo. Or- oh, for goodness sake, any ice cream I can get shipped in solid is marvelous.
4. Ice cream? Iced Cream. Hmm, that sounds interesting. MARTIN! Bring me the cream and the ice shavings, and Martin, bring me some strawberries...
5. I'm no favorite. I don't get treats. Who are you anyways?

Killed anyone?

1. I'm pretty sure I'd have been told. Pretty sure. Unless-
2. I say prayers for their souls every day.
3. He deserved it.
4. I prefer to keep those who have sinned where they can repent of their transgressions against the culinary world. For a LONG time.
5. I- don't remember.

Hate anyone?

1. Takes too much effort.
2. No. Loathe though, I can manage.
3. "Hate"implies that they're on my level.
4. YOU! What are you doing with that pie?!!!??? *hurls a knife* No, why do you ask?
5. Not a person, exactly. I try not to think about them.

Any secrets?

1. I wasn't there. I was in Grand Bank. Grand Bank, I tell you!
2. Next Question.
3. Not unless you include the alternate identity, and the gift- and you don't remember me saying any of that. Right?
4. No.
5. Withholding information isn't the same as lying about it, right? I mean, they don't know about it, but they don't need to, right? And not telling the Observers things is totally not even an issue. And the- you know, I'm just going to say no, and leave it there.

Love anyone?

1. Michael. Just joking! Just joking...
2. I followed my brother across the world to bail him out. Does that count?
3. You touch my family, you die. Tell whoever sent you that. 
4. What is the point of this question?
5. Not now. Not anymore. Not here.

What is your job?

1. I'm a student. Though Katie seems to want me to work at McDonalds. It's in discussion.
2. I work in the kitchen. And I pour wine at the high table. 
3. I'm the only person on this island, what do you think?
4. I am master of the kitchen. And the cellars. And the docks. 
5. You really are not the highest rating, aren't you? Look at my ident code. It has "drudge" in the TITLE!

Are you a boy or a girl??

1. Boy
2. Girl
3. Woman
4. Man
5. Girl

Family?

1. Two parents. 
2. One brother, but he's under sentence of death. And it's my fault.  I WILL break him out.
3. Daddy, Muv, Pete, Ally, Mike, John, Geoff, Jane, and Sally.
4. They died in the winter when I was a child.
5. I'm the only one left.

Best Friends?

1. After that weekend, I think I can count on Allison, Michael, Katie, Ben and Kathleen to stand by me. I'm not saying I like them though.
2. Margerete is amazing. And Brother Hugo. But I can't trust anyone else, right now. I shouldn't even trust them, really.
3. Back at home, a couple.
4. *doesn't answer*
5. Me? You've got me mixed up with someone people like.

What was the most surprising moment in your life up until now?

1. When Mr. X shot that man. I don't even know his name.
2. When it turned out that Herr Adolf knew who I was. I'm still not sure where that is going.
3. The first time I flew was very memorable. 
4. When my assistant made a flawless cake. I could not have done better myself. Then I knew who my successor must be.
5. When I first saw fire summoned. That was a good day.

Where would you rather be?

1. Out of this dead-end town?
2. Safe. Just somewhere where I could relax.
3. Oxford.
4. Why would I want to be anywhere else?
5. In the UO. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Ever kissed anyone that's not a family member?

1. A couple girls, yeah. A lot, actually.
2. Who do you think I am?
3. Thankfully, no.
4. This interview is over. *walks away*
5. Kissed? Uh, it didn't mean anything, I'm sure. 

Wars are not won by evacuations

I got the edit of Definitely Not Legal done. That is such a deeply flawed story. *shakes head* But it has good parts, and it was my first. :D

So, comment me if you want a copy. And if you, being deeply deranged and undiscerning, pirate it; I will hunt you down and make you wish I had killed you. *cheeky grin* For the fortunate favorites, (or perhaps not so fortunate,) who read the first copy, it hasn't changed much. I just put in some (very little) scenes which hopefully will render it less in need of translation.

Fare well!

"A grey wraith on a mad steed."

No, the title has nothing to do with anything, I just liked it a lot. I just came across it this morning, so if you can figure out where it's from, you know what I'm reading. Uber-bonus points to you if you can identify it. :D Oh, oh, and here is another one I loved.

"I used to have so much mercy." (not from what I'm reading. :D)

Such lovely lines....

Right. I did not get on here to talk about quotes, I got on here to announce my official intent to run through an edit of Definantely Not Legal. I need to get it in some form of decent. And I need to buy some teabags, cause this is gonna be intense. Chocolate, too might help. Right, I'm definately gonna do it this time. For sure. *nods*

I'll be coherent you'll see. REALLY coherent.

I apoligize to the world in advance.

"Now that is enigmatic. That is textbook enigmatic."

Just thought I take this opportunity to rant about one of my favorite subjects, books! Oh, you guessed? I'm terribly distraught. :D

I finished Stranger in a Strange Land. Yes, I did.

Finally.

I had started it before, and not liked it. Then I kept coming across references to it, and found a cheap copy, and I had recently re-read some books that I had not liked and I did like them this time, so I thought I give it another go. And how did it go? I very much doubt that I will read it again. It just- failed to catch my interest. Big time failure. When the MC strips nude in a public square and is stoned to death, the other MC's break into the morgue, steal part of his body and eat it, and then go off to form a group-marriage commune and the reader's reaction is "meh;" you know the author has some issues.

It is sad, because I really like his juvenile fiction. (His being other things by Heinlein). But in the adult stuff, he seems to spend way too much time preaching laughably inaccurate sexual ethics and various self-centered heresies. And they aren't even new heresies! Come on man, get it together... Yeah, in all the adult stuff I've managed to wade my way through so far, he manages to have at least one episode where a (female) character monologues on about how wonderful pornography and/or free sex is. The only problem is; all his characters sound like men. So you are supposed to have this great eureka moment, ("Oh, there is no emotional bond connected to sex, and women like being stared at in lust!") and instead the whole scene rings hysterically false. Bottom line; to any of my younger siblings who might see this post- don't read the book. Read Citizen of the Galaxy instead if you want some good SF. And to anyone else who sees this; consider yourself warned. I wash my hands of it. :D

And now I'm reading an actual good book. *hugs it* Unfinished Tales, you make my heart soar. :P Since I'm reading it in snatches of time between shifts I'm only as far as "the Children of Hurin," but it sings at me from the corner of the room. I greatly love the style of writing. It feels like I could pick any line at random and it would be a good quote. A lovely book. Read it. Yes, I'm talking to you!

And what else have I devoured lately? Oh, yes. FMA. :D Bless the day I stole a volume off Stephanie's shelf and read it in the basement. "I have worse things than that to regret." Lovely.

We've got a new mop bucket! We're all up in society now!

First of all, PENredux. *cough* Let's just say I'm still working on it... But I did FINALLY finish preparations for the Main Event, (you'll see someday), and now I can get started on it! *dances* I think I managed to make my villain believably evil. I'll have to wait on a second opinion to that.

Second of all, I had to share this hilarious short story I found of my brother's.

Once upon a time there was a certain Victor Stairs. On that overcast day in April, danger lurked in the shadows as Victor and Danny played whoever gets hit in the head with a rock first loses.

Priceless.

We interrupt this blog to bring you a special news bulletin...

I am curtailing the time I spend on the computer, so I will most likely not finish Merchant's Daughter. Not this month, at any rate. 

That is all.

Sweet, innocent, harmless MEDUSA!

Word count I should be at: 37,097
Word count I am at: 37,588

I've been writing scenes I'm not really sure about for the last couple of days, but every so often I get a line that clicks another chunk of plot into place. So I don't want to totally write them off, but they're mainly mediocre, with a very few redeeming features. In comparison to the rest of my stuff, that is. We're not going to talk about how good they are in reference to actually good work :D

And I keep trying to find ways for certain people not to die. *cries* I won't tell you who they are, because I might find a way, and also I want it to be a shock if any of you end up reading Merchant's Daughter. I just need some casualties! And I don't want them to be pure "expendables."

Darn, darn, darn. *frowns*

You see, I've never actually killed anyone yet, so it's a new thing.

Anyhow, in other news, Ritter Sebastian has arrived, I've married Jana off, and Adelheid has turned out to be "such a man!" :D I'm glad. I was worried about her for a while, and now I like her again. Marching through the castle, terrorizing all the men. :P

"I've been reading over your shoulder for 10 minutes, and I still have no idea what's going on."

Word count I'm supposed to hit: 33,871

Word count I did hit: 34,212

Words written: 2,615

Caffine intake: By 11 am, I've ingested 2 coffees and a mug of tea. Let's not count more

Scenes: 3

Wow, I am a writing MACHINE today! Of course, this is probably due to the fact that I've been sitting in front of these screens for essentially the last 6 hours. I've been trying to front-load my word count, because I suspect I will not get much done on my working days. But still... *cough* It's time to go, self. Get off the computer.

I am also beginning to suspect that I am a little too fond of having my Characters say the opposite of what they mean. *mirthful grin* It's just, I seem to naturally include intrigue. Really, I don't plan for it, and then suddenly half my characters are being watched and have to communicate "other ways." *sigh*

However, I still quite like a lot of my characters. And those I don't like I'm either killing or sending to a nunnery. Hmmm, I didn't realize that was my plan until I wrote that. :D And Herr Bruno is still enormous fun to write. Check out his motivational style;

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, I do not have enough staff to spare them to the inevitable loss of limbs and dismemberment I will make sure result from mistakes, so please don't make any."

Good times, good times.

"You think? Who gave you permission to do that?"

Word count I should be at: 32,258

Word count I am at: 31,597

I promise, it was entirely unintentional, but I now have a murder, Dietlinde got really drunk, and Adolph and Adelheid both know an important secret about each other and know that they both know. And they both also throw knifes really well. (This was a fun scene!) :D Adelhied also just watched the murder happen and didn't do anything, which is rather fascinating. 

Unfortunately, I now also have a bit of a headache, which certainly isn't due to the fact that I am getting most of my hydration in the form of coffee, for sure. *nods*. 

Ah, I am very happy to finally have that scene done with. I've been beating my head against it for something like three days!

"And again we try, just to stay alive..."

Goodness gracious; I think there is a pressure change in the air, because my head feels like it's gonna burst if I move it too fast.

But still, I am clutching the opportunity to try and write. Try being the operative word in that former statement, because my inner editor evidently is an elusive creature. I had her securely trussed up, I thought, but now she's out again, carefully stealing my words. My habitual practice at this point would be to drug her out of commission with chocolate, but I'm also trying to save money, so that seems vaguely impractical.

Okay, time to go casually drop some important information.

It's time to break out the Chant.

Word count I should be at: 29,032 *cringes*
Word count I am: 27,077 *cringes more*
Title: Merchant's Daughter

I'm changing the title back, since it was too hard to explain.

And I now have a merchant singing in Latin. Yes, Latin. Did you know that you can find the entire Vulgate bible on the internet? I was quite pleased.

I have GOT to get up early tomorrow to write. No more excuses.

I sell my soul, but only to the very highest bidder.

Word Count I should be at: 27,419
Word Count I am at: 26,104
Shortfall: 1,315

I admit it, I totally failed at writing on days where I also worked. But I'm starting to catch up now! Really! *sincere*

I'm rather happy about how my characters are suddenly discovering who they are. Hugh is amazing, I realized, and Adelheid has some kind of a personality! No, Hugh always had a personality, but I got to do an extended foray into how insane he actually is. You have no idea! He actually has a really sad backstory too. Or at least, it was sad in my head, so I hope it translates that way.

Also, Adelhied slapped someone, and got to be her queenly self in two dissimilar situations, which stitched together two divergent personality pieces in my head. Moreover, I finally wrote Adolph! He was the first character to arrive in my head, and the last one of my MC to talk. At this time he's remarkably fun to write, and I haven't even used many of his really good lines yet! *dances* He needs to do a lot of growing up though. This should be fun!

I finished the murder dare, so now I just have to include the one(s) about real people. And no, I am not counting Adelhied as me, despite the slapping episode. *firmly*

My story makes me happy.

Seven years, only seven years!

Word count I should be at: 22,581

Word count I am at: 22,791

I finished Crime and Punishment this evening, and I really see why it is well spoken of. Though there were certainly moments where I was ready to start shouting at the page, namely when Svidrigailov had Dounia trapped, (!@#$%^), I really enjoyed it. And such a good ending! *is happy*

And I've had to stop at an EXTREME cliff hanger, so getting up tomorrow to right should be easy not that difficult.

My Main Character has no Character!!!

Word count I should be at: 20,968

Word count I am at: 20,707

I BROKE 20,000!!!! *fireworks*

I'm a little bit concerned about Adelhied. She really seems to have no soul. This frustrates me, but I also have a cold, so I'm finding it ever so slightly difficult to get worked up about it. *blows nose*

I actually have most of my characters up now. *dances* I also was hired at McDonalds, so I should show them you before I have to start working full-time.

• Adelhied:
  My main female character. She's 19, and her brother ran off to travel the world selling things three yeas ago. Now he got put under sentence of death in Hamberg, and called her there so he could see her before he died. She is currently under an assumed name, Adele, working in the kitchen of the Castle where he is imprisoned, and cooking up something devious along with the fish.
  
  
• Johannes:
  The brother who ran off to travel the world. He's blond, 17, and a little ADHD. He has a wicked business sense, but doesn't always notice the traps he's walking into. Currently imprisoned, and giving language lessons to the daughter of the Castle Steward.
  
  
• Hadelind:
  The daughter of the Castle Steward in Hamberg. She's got a club foot, and hasn't been out of the Castle in years. Sensible as the day is long, she helps out wherever an extra pair of hands is needed. Taking language lessons from Johannes, and likes the crazy stories he tells.
  
  
• Margerete:
  She's lived in Hamberg her whole life, which is almost 40 years so far. She has no children, but she takes most of the castle under her wing, including Adelhied/Adele. She knows EVERYTHING that goes on. Is Herr Bruno's right hand woman, though he'd never say so.
  
  
• Herr Bruno:
  The crazy cook at Hammaburg (the name of the castle).  Literally, he carries a massive broken sword that he's ground smooth, and he bites the blade when he's agitated, which is often. So he's bending you backwards over the table with the sword at your throat, and blood running down his chin where he cut himself. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BREAD?!? If you make a mistake in his kitchen, you run for your life. Also, no one ever knows quite where he is, which doesn't help the stress level.
  
  
• Hugh:
  Johannes's partner, he's an scarred middle aged ex-crusader with a past we haven't talked about yet. But he handles swords like he was born with them in his hands. He's currently hiding out in a monastery as a novice, and is heading for Hammaburg with a delivery of beer. Spent "16 years on a battlefield."
  
  
• Martin (brown):
  A 9 year old page to the Herzog, with brown hair, he ends up helping Herzogin Mechtilde's ladies with her sewing, which he is not pleased about. Had once lesson in how to fight properly from Hugh, which he was pleased about. He has a running friendship/feud with
  
  
• Martin (white):
  A 9 year old kitchen boy with blond hair. Fights Brown Martin on sight, and notices more than you'd think.
  
  
• Adolph:
  The Herzog, he's 2o, and likes to go about in disguise to learn about his property, though everyone knows who he is because of his red hair.  He was not pleased when his mother tried to arrange a marriage with him to Adelhied, who he's never met, and thereupon announced that he was moving to Hamberg, and that he's going to marry lady Nathalie. He goes by Alban when he's "undercover."
  
  
• Nathalie:
  The "understood" betrothed of Adolph. Pretty and predatory. Adolph didn't stand a chance. She was widowed once before, and is making a very advantageous marriage to Adolph. Her Uncle is Ritter Sebastian.
  
  
• Ritter Sebastian:
  The Chief adviser to Herzogin Mechtilde. He was the instrument of Johannes's condemnation, which was unwarranted. He likes power, and also for people to not know that he likes or has power. Doesn't hold a grudge, because he doesn't need to. If he doesn't like you, you're already dead.
  
  
• Herzogin Mechtilde:
  Herzogin of Hamberg, and many other places which she'd rather visit. She was made regent of her son's lands when her husband died 15 years ago, and she isn't letting go of the power. She's very used to it by now, in fact.
  
  
• Dietlinde:
  At age 14, she was shipped off to Hammaburg to snare a husband, but she spends all her time in the stillroom making medicines. Skittish, she has very good hearing, and knows how to use her store of herbs to do remarkable things, despite not liking them. 
  
  
• Father Nikolous:
  The (very) new priest at Hammaburg. He is in charge of both the castle and the surrounding area, now that Father David died. He's very eager to do a good job, but sometimes is a little too eager to do well. 
  

There are a few other people who have names, but they're not important enough to make it onto the list. :D 

Word count I should be at: 19,355

Word count I am at: 18,963

I keep trying to get up early, and then I turn off the alarm in my sleep. That is the only explanation I can find for it, because I arm it for 5 am, and then I wake up as breakfast is being called at 8.*frustrated* But I continue to enjoy myself with my story. I had to add a disclaimer to this one too. *cheeky* 

I am aware that the idioms I used are not exactly medieval. I blame this on the fact that they're talking in German, and Polish, and Danish, and so of course in the translation things happen.

I really didn't do enough research. :D

BUT! Maybe next time I won't need a disclaimer at all... I live in hope, pretty much.

"No, he has some very fine clothes, I've seen them."

Word count I should be at: 17,742

Word Count I am at: 17,202 (so close!)

Music: Julie Miller, Newsboys, New Radicals, Daft Punk, Thomas Tallis, Buddy Wasisisname, Switchfoot, Sarah McLachlan, Irish Descendants, Charlie A'Court, Coldplay, Eagles, Rawlin's Cross, etc.  I thought there was a theme there. I was wrong. 

Drinking: Tetley Tea, Earl Grey Tea, Hot Lemonade with Ginger Honey.

Wow, it has been a day of non-related fragments, now that I look at the stats. :D

I did a bunch of odds and ends scenes today. I was cringing at them, and saying to myself, "I hate my mind!" But then I had a chance remark from Margerete, and I realized that I wasn't including a proper villain, and now I'm fired up, a bit, about the story. *dances* 

My dashboard keeps collecting notes like "Intro the healer/Get out now, He'll kill you/Allude to Hugh." and "Herr Sebastian comes to Visit, something Dastardly. Cheerful!"

Man, I just KEEP introducing people, though. (including Jana, who was generic until she opened her mouth. See title, above.) And half of them are going to die, I know, so I have to introduce even more characters to take up the slack afterwards. I think I see a Character related dare around here somewhere. 

"You want broke, blind, or bedlam?" "How 'bout all three?"

Word count I should be at: 16,129

Word count I am at: 14,975

I have realized that I just have someone threaten someone else with a knife when I'm not inspired. This is pretty effective, but I also have a feeling that it's also problematic. *beats head against wall*

This is the second week, isn't it. Can I blame my blah novel on that? Can I? Please? No, it's not THAT blah, I just am in the filling-in stages. *sigh* And I keep introducing people who are going to die, I know, which is a little guilt-inducing. But they are awesome, to a man. And not all the awesome people die!

We meet more of the nobility tomorrow. Should be FUNNNNN. Or sketchy. I'm not sure which yet. *grins*

*waves weakly*

Word count I should be at: 14,516

Word count I am at: 13,457

Shortfall: 1,059

I feel nasty, unfortunately. *sigh* Not that I'm really sick, just feeling blah, with a headache, sore throat, and no sense of humour. But I did look up German Honorifics, which are jolly. And I found out two pieces of information in there which fit VERY nicely with my story, if ever I get to the good parts. Sigh. 

Did I mention that depriving myself of sleep was stupid? I think this needs to be said. 

I also think that research BEFORE you're writing a historical tale is a good idea. Oh well, this gives the experience its own particular brand of insanity. 

"If you touch me, I'll kill you. If you touch my computer, I'll just make you wish I had killed you."

Word Count I should be at: 13,333

Word Count I am at: 11,934

Shortfall: 1,399

Wow, it's my second post of the day! This has been a very good day. I am happy. :D

I introduced Hadelind, who is amazing, and Johannes got to tell the story of how he lost a finger, and Adelhied met Father Nikolous. Man, I am having issues with Adelhied, though. She is just missing it. You know, that indefinable something which makes you want to watch a person? She hasn't got it. I am disappointed by this because I really liked her before I started wring here, and now it's a desperate scramble to try and make her a real, and intersting, person. 

I have been informed that one of my main characters is a Mass Murderer in their backstory. Aren't Dares fun?

And I also wrote a website. 

Well, that's not creepy. How did you get my ip address?

Word count I should be at: 13,333

Word count I am at: 10,982

Which means I am behind by: 2,351

Wake up call: 4:00 am

Drinks: Earl Grey Tea, and hot Chocolate. (Caffeine AND sugar, baby.)

Music: Newsboys! I have Jensen Audio headphones, after 8 months of tinny computer speakers. Man, the music sounds good. :D

Dares finished: all of them!

Yeah, I woke up at o-dark thirty to write and didn't start till the sun was out. You got a problem with that?

"We r teh l33test snipezorz!" "Is that Latin?"

Word count I should be at: 11,667
Word count I am at: 9,110
Title: I am not who I am

Sanity: I've reverted to "thee" and "thou" when threatening my little sibs.

Coherence: Did I mention I have my own Dialect? Yeah. I'ts moving in'to i'ts own spelling a' grammar at this time.

Caffeine consumed: Two coffees and a mug of tea. Not bad, actually.

Yea, so I figured out a massive amount of plot related goodness and political intrigue today, met something like 8 new characters, thought up a title, planned out a PEN website; and re-wrote one stinking scene. I haven't even included half of my own dare from yesterday yet. But I did figure out a small titbit of how Adelheid works, which is desperately needed. 

Okay, I'm setting my alarm for 4, which is in 6 hours, *cries,* and I'm going to get up and actually write. And look at the news, but that's in between locals, when you need a mind break anywise.

And, I need to go take a shower and collapse. *blinks*

*baleful stare* Stephanie, I hope you're happy. I posted 4 times today.

Love you, my PENredux-ers!

At dawn on the Fifth day, look to the east.

Word count I should be at: 8335

Word count I am at: 6873 *cringes* But it's early days yet, no?

Title: I'm working on it, okay! I still have to figure out mediaeval trade routes and Saxon monasticism in the 12th century!

Tea of the day: The Earl, of course.

Wake up call: 5 am. *wide grin* 

Sanity: Let's not go there, okay? Always a touchy subject...

Characters in peril: One under a death sentence, one running for his life, and one invited into a frankly dangerous situation.

I've been typing out the stuff which I had already written on paper, which is interesting. I have to say, Lady Mechtilde was fun to write the first time, but the second time, not so much. There's only so much predatory-deranged-old-lady-with-way-too-much-power-and-likes-it-that-way that you can take on an empty stomach. 

On the other hand, Hugh is ever more fun the second time around. Crusader reflexes, baby! *grins* And Adelheid is hardly emo at all now that I've figured out that she is noisy when she works. But I do have to watch that. She's too cool to go emo! 

Ah! I've just figured this out! She's getting crossed with my character for November, cause they both arrived in my head at the same time. *disentangles Adelheid and unnamed girl* 

I got up before the sun today. *dances* Too much caffeine on an empty stomach added to a perilous imaginary world is fun! *walks into a door frame*

*evil laughter bubbles up from the corner*

I got up early again today, and then found that my brother, whose computer account I was using, had changed his password. This is where you take it as a sign that it is time to sleep, and go back to bed. So I did.

And now, for the next little while, I'm writing on paper. *nods*

After lunch, I was sitting in the corner of the living room chuckling evilly to myself pver my notebook, in a manner which I am sure was quite disturbing. It wasn't even an evil scene, but I was just enjoying myself. It's so fun to figure out who your characters are! Johannes, you silly boy... *wide grin* I shall have to tamp down my character ranting, too, since I don't think my family wants me talking about my characters at odd times, for the rest on the month. My poor sister Courtney was the recipient of three outbursts before I managed to reign myself in.

Funnily, my main character is the one who needs the most work right now. I had all her lines done for the first scene for a couple of weeks, but now her brother Johannes is very different from the way I originally saw him, so she comes off as self centered and emo, which is NOT true! I affirm this! Yes, Johannes was originally big, oblivious, 24, and somewhat slow. Now he's ADHD, with a wicked business sence, and 16. Puts a different spin on the conversation, no?

I like my story abruptly, which is good. I have a feeling that might help in the early morning. I should point out that I am NOT an early morning person, and I am just trying to train myslef ot get up early as that is the time when I can use the computer most easily, when I have a login. It remains to be seen if that is any kind of successful.

Okay, I need to go do clothes research. May all your plots come to an end!

so i herd u liek history?

I'm kinda playing fast and loose with the dates, but I have my setting. Ish. If there is anyone who reads this who knows things about Saxony at the time of the Second Crusade, or Mediaeval German life in general, call me.

I just decided to regard it as a sign when there was a major shipping city which had a formative event and a noble marriage to an unknown girl in the same year. Actually, she wasn't really unknown, but I have made the executive decision that the chronicle which she was mentioned in is not important. *brilliant smile* I have also decided that my main man was actually born ten years after the official record, cause I just don't want a 30 year old marrying a teenager in my story. No, thank you...

AANDDDD!!! I have names. *is pleased* The thing with history is these people come with names ready made! Even if they are mouthfuls like Adolf III von Schauenberg Graf von Holstein. Try saying that one in a hurry.

Oh, I am so in over my head. *dances off to make a character chart*

Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red dawn!

It's begun!

Fuelled by lovely earl grey tea, I got up at 5 am, and wrote what I dearly hope is 1667 words, (I presently do not have a word count function available, which is being fixed soon!) Then I went back to sleep for three hours. Somewhat counterproductive, maybe, but the idea is to get into my head the habit of getting up before breakfast. This is because my family thinks staying up to 10:30 is pushing it, so my February practice of writing till 2am is not going to go over well, I fancy.

Now, the story. 

Where is it situated? Um, somewhere in Europe.

When is it? Um, around the time of the first crusade? I think?

What are your characters' names? Let me get back to you on that one, kay?

What's the title? Next question, please.

What is the major character forming event? *sheepish*

Do you even have characters? Sorta. I mean, I found out that my one named character is totally ADHD today! That's something, right?

It appears that I have a trifle of research to do.

Update: I now have a map of hope and glory. 

May starts on Thursday? *panics*

Here are some lovely quotes I found while waiting for my files to upload to an ftp server.

To sum it all up, if you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever sent out and set rambling.
You must write every day of your life.
You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next.
You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfume and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads.
I wish for you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime.
I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you.
May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories- science fiction or otherwise.
Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.
-Ray Bradbury

Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.
-William Saroyan

There really are no characters in plays; there are relationships.
-Arthur Miller

First drafts are for learning what your novel or story is about.
-Bernard Malamud

Never tell your reader what your story is about. Reading is a participatory sport. People do it because they are intelligent and enjoy figuring things out for themselves.
-George V. Higgins

Never feel guilty about reading. That's what you do.
-William Safire.

Tell almost the whole story.
-Anne Sexton

When the plot flags, bring in a man with a gun.
-Raymond Chandler

Sounds like fun.

excited!!!

Wow, I'm really exited about writing now.

I really want to write my own story, though I've done a shocking lack of work on it. Also, I was hit with a plot bunny that wants to turn a story that Bahnree is writing into an OC tournament.

So, the people who are participating have a character, or a couple of characters. They write a description of their character, and their fighting style, and maybe a bit of a back story so that the other participants can get a feel for who the character is. Then the characters are paired off in duels, and the writers have to write a fight, wherein his or her characters wins the duel. The trick is, their opponent is writing the duel too, with his or her character winning instead. Then independent judges will pick the best story of the two that are submitted, and the winner will advance to the next round, just like in a real life tournament. Then they are paired with another character, a duel takes place, etc.

*is excited*

This would be really good writing practice, and just, fun! Maybe we'll do it in June or July. Kendra and Stephanie could probably lure in a bunch of people, too. For goodness sake, I might be able to lure in some people, in fact.

Oh! And on the May/PENredux front, Kemendraugh is probably going to be doing the writing with Bahnree and I! I'm happy!

And, it's after midnight. Time to head for bed.

Appearances can be deceiving.

I found this today. I'm not sure when I wrote it, but I think I was feeling stressed. :P It's about a character who doesn't have a written story yet.

Sometimes, when she seems to be handling things so well,

all she really wants is for someone to hold her while she cries herself out.

Sometimes, when she makes light of what's going on,

it's because she's ashamed of how her life sounds like a sob story.

Sometimes, when she says, "I'm going crazy,"

she means it.

Sometimes, when she moves quietly through the room

it's because she's so frail she doesn't want to run the risk of breaking.

Sometimes, she's so still,

because all her energy is going towards staying upright and dry-eyed.

Sometimes, that self-possessed girl in the corner thinking,

is wishing with all her remaining strength that someone would please see what's going on.

Sometimes the obvious is no such thing.

You're A Prayer for Owen Meany!

by John Irving

Despite humble and perhaps literally small beginnings, you inspire faith in almost everyone you know. You are an agent of higher powers, and you manifest this fact in mysterious and loud ways. A sense of destiny pervades your every waking moment, and you prepare with great detail for destiny fulfilled. When you speak, IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS!

Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

You're Ireland!

Mystical and rain-soaked, you remain mysterious to many people, and this makes you intriguing. You also like a good night at the pub, though many are just as worried that you will blow up the pub as drink your beverage of choice. You're good with words, remarkably lucky, and know and enjoy at least fifteen ways of eating a potato. You really don't like snakes.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

I laugh in the face of exams. I spit in their general direction.

I woke up this morning thinking;
"Well, if I travel during November, I'm going to have to have a laptop of some kind. Nothing fancy, just one that can handle word processing, a USB port, and internet access. A electric typewriter. But how would I charge it?"

This shows how stressed about exams I am today. My subconscious is occupied with the logistics of traveling during nanowrimo. *grins* Yes, I am in the middle of exam week, if you didn't' know. One week of 7 exams, all of which have been described in my hearing as "third year university level." But who even worries about exams when they're happening? You worry before and then when the days hit you are totally serene. *nods emphatically*

In other news, I'm starting to get really excited about writing in May, but I need to get the world imaged a little bit better in my head. I'll be writing in the very early morning, I think so, so I want to try to stave off the temptation to drop into science fiction. I don't know if that made sense to anyone, but anyhow...

I need to figure out a location for my people, and an era. Oh, I'm so excited! I'm still a little sad that only Stephanie and I are doing PENredux, but everyone seems to be busy with life. Oh, I don't know, maybe we'll find someone else who's willing to try to write 50,000 words in 31 days! *is hopeful*

I am a complete idiot.

I am unable to manage my time. I fritter it away on unnecessary amusements, and then I expect my friends, who have been working hard while I waste my time, to feel sorry for me for not having my work done.

I worry about pointless things.

I'm so stupidly self-centered, all I think about is myself.

I feel sorry for myself whenever anyone talks about what they are able to do and I am not.

I'm rude to people I care about, in a botched attempt to be amusing or to tell them that I care.

When people try to be nice to me I end up throwing it back in their face, my social skills are so abysmal.

I'm so afraid of intruding that I never tell people that I enjoy their company, and then or course they never even think of me.

Sometimes I really hate myself. Sometimes, I really really really hate myself. I fail at life.

"Didn't want you to get your hopes up." "Don't flatter yourself."

So, Bahnree wrote a piece for Restless Hearts, which was a version of Hamlet from the viewpoint of another character. It was very good. Also, our literature professor said that writing some fiction- another chapter, or another viewpoint on a story- about a book that we read this year, would be acceptable as our literature paper. Long story short, she has just received approval to put the story in as her literature paper. *narrows eyes*

However, I said that she should ask the professor about using the piece, so I feel somehow related to the triumph of having a paper done 5 days early. *glee*

I personally, on the other hand, am trying to get the Science dialauge done. I'm certainly farming it out for approval/scorn/assistance to other people, cause I don't like it. *sigh*

"You would withhold rations from a dying man?"

Nothing much has happened on the real writing front, other than the fact that the list of books I have to read is growing by the day, and I really want to do lots and lots of technical research, both setting and character. I realized on overhearing Stephanie and Kendra talking about drama classes that I have virtually no experience at portraying characters who aren't a facet of me. This should certainly be amended with all expediency. *grins*

My papers are sucking my brain out- but they leave me with a very strong desire to write. I have to get through exam week first.

See you on the other side of purgatory!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love writing?

I declare, the world is FULL of stories. There are ideas everywhere, and I would so much love to write them downnnn..... *cries*

I last week started a file to write down story ideas, and it is now 4 pages of hope and glory.

Moreover, I've been writing a silly little story in a notebook in the 20 minute snatches of time between classes and such, when I can't really start some proper school work, and someone else is on the computer. It's now 8 pages long, and really shiny. That was the first story that I've gotten out of bed to start writing. But I was wide awake, I tell you, and the story was all colorful and vivid...

In addition, I had the so-lovely idea to put my May story in the real world, not an invented fantasy land. I'm leaning towards Constantinople, I think, because the original folk tale I'm expanding came from the Balkans, and I don't know enough about Japan or Africa to put it there. *is hit by a sudden craving to read folk tales and the encyclopedia.* I haven't decided between the Roman empire or the Eastern Roman empire yet either. I think we're calling the May adventure PENredux, and I am very excited!

Wow, if that made sense to anyone, I am impressed. I need to go beat my Scriptures paper into submission. *waves*

I've had a fell dream..

So, I want to write a story, or walk for 100 miles, or write a website, or learn to code, or bake, or bead, or watch the news, or sit in a sunspot, or basically do anything but write research papers.

*sigh*

This too shall pass, (even though I quite probably won't!)

Quizzes!!!

Comment me with your answers, if you're bored interested. :)

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
2) What was your dream growing up?
3) What talent do you wish you had?
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
5) Favourite vegetable?
6) What was the last book you read?
7) What zodiac sign are you?
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
9) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favourite sport?
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What colour eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000/£10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favourite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Do you believe in God?
34) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Ha, amusing. *grins*

What is your element? [with pics + detailed answers]

Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around you and are in tune with the world around. You observe it but rarely interfere. Because of your shy and timid nature you will not have so many friends in your life. But then again, large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are comfortable on your own and are reserved to others who you don't know or know very little of. You know everyone out there does not want to be your friend, and knowing that is good. However, people who don't know you that well thinks that you are cold and distant since you don't want to talk to them. Although you mean no harm, you can't always be perfectly understood in the world. No one can. Life in general are you quite serene with even if there are some things you don't like. Your love-life is not so full of boys/girls, but if you flirted more with the ones you were interested in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies you choose are calmer ones, you are no party person that likes to drink and make-out with three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading a book or swimming is more your thing. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I owe it all to youtube.

32,059 words!

The ending is awful- and so on and so forth, but I'm so glad it's finally done! w00t! (I was pulling things out there that I had NEVER put on paper, even hinted too before. *cringes*)
How many words did I write today? 2699.

Well, I'm off to read Stephanie's story. *rubs hands together*